A Mother's Life

Organizing My Life-Flour Drawer (before and after)

2012-01-18T20:47:00.003-05:00

Continuing with my "re/organizing my home in my spare time" theme, I now take you to my "flour drawer." I have an old antique hutch-a sort of 'hoosier cabinet' that came from my parents. They bought it when I was a teenager and I claimed it would one day be passed down to me. :) I have always loved this piece of furniture, and here in our rental, it came in handy, as there is not much cabinet space.

One thing I use this piece for is my flour(s). Since being diagnosed with a gluten intolerance, my flour numbers have gone up! I used to have a few blends, now I have..like...127. (or so it seems) Til now, my best organization has been ziploc bags...as you can see below, that wasn't working for me. When I'd go to bake and need a certain type of flour, I had to lift out every bag, and then see if I could read the bag label (due to flour leaking out of said bag inside ziploc bag). It was time for a change...

Some ball mason jars, a label maker-that I love, and just about a half hour later, and ta-da!!! (bottom layer of drawer)

Final shot of my drawer below. (I ran out of big enough jars for a few large bags of flour) Did I already say I love my label maker? I told a friend today that I'm having to keep my self from labeling everything...you know "salt, pepper, dresser, cabinet." :) But, I love how I can see, for the most part, which flour is which just at a glance. Ahhh...that job felt good!

Organizing My Life-Cash Envelope System (before and after)

2012-01-16T07:45:00.003-05:00

One of the things I love is taking out cash each paycheck. It keeps me on budget...or should I say closer to my budget. There are some areas (like groceries), I cannot seem to stick to some weeks. I'm trying! I have used cash off and on for years, and just find that I do better when I have cash in hand-it hurts more to give it away, I know how much I have-so I make better choices, and I can say no easier.

A year or so ago, my sister gave me her Financial Peace envelopes/holder. I was excited, as I had always used various white regular envelopes filled with money, stashed in my wallet. This was a nice way to keep them all organized and held together. But, as you can see from my pictures, they wore out on me!

So, I found This Tutorial and made some new ones-during the football game the other day I "watched" with Shane (some guy named Tim Tebow was playing??) :) , and I LOVE them! They are fun and bright and might make saving money seem a little more exciting?? I don't know-maybe that's a stretch. :)

But, they are so sturdy-made out of cardstock, and I made several more "categories" to help me keep even better track of things.

My new categories are: Fun (entertainment-which usually consists of eating out once every two weeks-:) ), Haircuts (includes Beauty/Cosmetics), Date Night (currently has $1 in it!), Grocery-Bulk Foods, Grocery-milk/eggs/dairy, Grocery-bulk meat, Grocery-produce, Grocery-Misc., Grocery-Meat, Household Misc., School, Clothing, and Gifts. Now, these are just my "cash" categories, we budget the rest on paper. The lady who designed these, also sells them on Etsy pre-made here, and they are laminated! I'm sure they'd hold up for awhile! I'll let you know how long these last.

Organizing My Life-Back Room "Pantry" (after)

2012-01-15T21:32:00.003-05:00

So, this is a follow-up to the earlier post on my back room "pantry." Here are the AFTER photos!! Now, my husband could not tell I had done anything! ha! Very observant. However, I feel like a new woman! I added two shelves that had been sitting there waiting to be added for, oh, 8 months now. :) In my reorganizing, I cleaned the shelves and I realized I had a few things I had forgotten about..or couldn't find. Myra was also excited that she could actually see what we had. I did realize that I DO NOT need any barbecue sauce, tomato sauce, or pepperocinis for awhile. :) But, it's so nice to be organized..now when I hit my "salvage stores" I know what I need to stock up on, instead of guessing. :)

However, when I was pulling these pictures off of my camera, I saw that I had moved some olives and sauerkraut on a shelf when I was organizing, and had not put them in the right spot. So, for those of you that are OCD..not mentioning names...I did put them on the right shelf AFTER the photo was taken. No need to worry! :) And, for those of you also OCD, you do not see the laundry pile in the background..and if you do, and you're my friend, you know it's a lost cause with me anyways. I will never catch up with laundry. I'm done pretending. :)

Organizing My Life-Back Room "Pantry" (before)

2012-01-15T20:48:00.006-05:00

Well, last post I told you that I had some life changes coming up that I'd talk about later. I am now in a new season of life. After much prayer, and lots of tears, and more prayer, we decided to send our two girls to school for the first time ever. We have homeschooled since my oldest was in preschool. This was a HUGE decision for us, one that did not come easy. Long story short, I just hit a "wall." Each day was hard to face, and I felt like I needed a break...but was willing to press on, if that's what God wanted. God gave my husband and I the peace to let go for this time in our lives, and put them in school. And, wow! What a blessing it has already been. He has given them both Christian teachers, and just keeps confirming that He has this all in His hands.

One of my biggest fears was for my oldest to have a hard time finding good friends, and on her first day there, there was a girl from her Sunday school class, in her homeroom class! They bonded from that first day, and she has been a blessing to my daughter. What I did not know until tonight was that this young girl didn't want to come back to school after Christmas, because she had no Christian friends at school, and was having a rough time. That brought me to tears, that my daughter was as much an answer to her prayers as she was to ours. God is good!

We have felt blessed and surrounded with prayer. Our friends have been amazing-both those that homeschool and those that don't, and have covered our daughters in prayer. We are blessed with good friends. This is for this season of our lives. That's all we know. We have yet to see what God holds for next year, but for now, we feel very much He has a plan for all of this.

In the meantime, I'm getting a chance to just be "mom" again, and I have some time to get some things done that haven't gotten done in awhile. :) One of those things is organization. I do it, then let it go. My friend Kristen B., who was one of the most organized, clean people I know, told me years ago that you don't just organize and it stays that way-it's an ongoing process. Well, I tend to get things organized, then life happens. :) And, boy, does it happen fast. So, I have some time to go through things, get rid of stuff, reorganize. And, I'm posting my life for you!! I've had some encouragement lately from reading some blogs I enjoy-one of them is Keeper of the Home. It just gave me that 'push' to get to it. So, without further ado...this is my "pantry."

I say "pantry" because it's where I store food in my house. The house we're renting does not have a big kitchen, nor a pantry space, but we had some extra bookshelves..so, it's our pantry, located in a back room of our house.

As you can see from the below pictures, it wasn't out of control, there had been SOME attempt for organizing at some point...you CAN see that, right? :) However, there came a point when I had stuff and didn't have time to figure out where to put that extra can of tomatoes or that bag of chips. (after photos posted in next post)

Lessons from the old farmhouse

2011-12-27T09:23:00.002-05:00

"Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam,

Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home!

A charm from the skies seems to hallow us there,

Which, seek through the world, is ne'er met with elsewhere.

Home, home, sweet home!

There's no place like home. "

Lessons from the old farmhouse:

1. We CAN survive without a dishwasher.

2. Being cold will NOT kill us. That's what snuggies are for. :)

3. Free range chickens are the best! We will own our own some day.

4. Being hot in the summer will NOT kill us. People did it for years. Yes, some of them died, but we did not. :)

5. Water in the basement is good...it kills the mice before they get upstairs. :)

Boohoo!

2011-12-26T20:45:00.003-05:00

Before and After photos of the tragedy..I mean, haircut..that happened at my house tonight. :( I love those curls, but daddy said they were getting too long. sniff..sniff.. At least, he's still adorable. But, whose hair will I play with now?

"Who is that in the mirror?" :)

The Journey Ahead

2011-12-26T11:36:00.002-05:00

I hope you all had a Merry Christmas. We kept it simple and enjoyed our family (extended and immediate) and are so thankful for all God has given us in them. We realize how truly blessed we are. The delight of children make Christmas, doesn't it? I sat back this year, watching my children, seeing how they are growing so quickly, and enjoying the moments.

Well..once again, I haven't been on here in awhile. Not sure what happens to me...I suppose life and it's busy-ness, dishes, laundry, homeschooling, and sometimes..I just can't find the words to write (or the energy). This has been a good season of life, but it's had some hard times. (don't all seasons?)

Don't know why I don't write in the good and hard times..maybe I'm afraid still to be "too real." Maybe it's wisdom that keeps me from blogging in those times. :) And, truthfully, sometimes I just "crash" at night and can't move, let alone come up with enough brain cells to write! :)

We are now entering a new season of life. I'll blog about that soon..(when I get the courage?). :) Maybe when we're in that season, and I'm more at rest. But, for now, I will share what I read the other day...seemed to be a word from God for me. I took it to heart, and am doing my best to rest in it. Sometimes there is rest along our journey.

"The journey is too great for thee." (I Kings 19:7)

"And what did God do with His tired servant? Gave him something good to eat, and put him to sleep. Elijah had done splendid work, and had run alongside of the chariot in his excitement, and it had been too much for his physical strength, and the reaction had come on, and he was depressed. They physical needed to be cared for. What many people want is sleep, and the physical ailment attended to. There are grand men and women who get to where Elijah was-under the juniper tree! and it comes very soothingly to hear the words of the Master: 'The journey is too great for thee, and I am going to refresh you.' Let us not confound physical weariness with spiritual weakness."

(from Streams in the Desert)

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2011-11-30T10:41:00.001-05:00

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Conversations with my 5-year-old

2011-10-05T10:29:00.004-04:00

This morning, I was reading my 5 year old boy his Bible story. We were reading about Jacob being tricked into marrying Leah, then working seven more years for Rachel. I asked him how he would feel about daddy having two wives. He said, "Mom, I think ants don't worship God." "Why?", I asked. "Because I think that ants have, like, a thousand wives," he said, "and also I never see ants go to church...I think they worship an ant." :)

1000 Gifts #388-448

2011-09-06T16:59:00.002-04:00

"Oh, for more holiness! Oh, for more of God in my soul! Oh this pleasing pain! It makes my soul press after God!" (David Brainerd)

388. God allows earthly means to continue to 'fail us' so that He can show us HIS love
389. money for a library membership (since we moved out of the 'township'). This was a gift.
391. that this world does not bring me happiness, no matter how hard I keep looking
392. that He is opening my eyes, even when it's hard
393. good, tear-filled, late night talks with my husband
394. God's provision for our schoolyear
395. the sounds of Lizzie and Shane playing "wii football"
396. gluten free donuts on a Sunday morning
397. weeping may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning
398. legos all over the floor
399. clean, folded clothes on the stairs
400. a sink full of dishes
401. crumbs on the dining room table
402. holding hands
403. that my mom and dad were instruments used to show me (and tell me) God's love for me-at a time I felt 'forsaken'
404. Robyn watching my kids when I went to the doctor
405. little ones in bathtubs
406. cuddle time in bed with the kids
407. free corn from the neighbors
408. Indiana beach trip with the kids
409. playing games with the kids
410. tears and healing
411. he holds me and tells me it's okay and he loves me
412. 'fear' is breaking
413. rainy days
414. 'life does not lie in the abundance of possessions' (the reminder from God's word for me)
415. hot showers
416. one toilet (it beats NO toilets!)
417. his strong arms
418. Myra opening her heart to me
419. a good dinner/fellowship with Jacob and Jama
420. how my children sat quietly at the bank
421. we got the shortsale paperwork done, and were accepted
422. our church
423. some sweet friendships forming
424. a quiet walk
425. the warmth of the sunshine on my skin
426. teaching my girls to crochet
427. opening doors I didn't think I wanted open
428. enough to share
429. rest for the weary
430. honesty
431. how Nehi made us laugh
432. the smell of freshly baked (GF!) orange pound cake
433. the grace to FIGHT
434. our girls making us breakfast
435. seeing my children reading
436. beautiful pain
437. a visit with our family
438. free corn, tomatoes, and zucchini from my sister
439. pinata in the rain
440. 18 pieces of clothing at Goodwill for $30
441. time with my boy at night to rub his back and tummy
442. a good conversation with my sweet mother-in-law, and the love God is restoring in that relationship
443. kids laughing
444. $1 amish-made bread to feed my kids breakfast for 2 days
445. a day out with my sister
446. more tomatoes, zucchini, and potatoes from my sister's garden
447. good sermons, not to make us 'feel good', but to make us more like Christ
448. no anxiety that day

Am I Sheltering My Child Too Much?

2011-08-24T10:33:00.002-04:00

This article came in my inbox this morning, and I thought it was too good not to share. I hope it is okay to cut and paste this! :)

Am I Sheltering My Child Too Much?
by Gena Suarez

"Do you "shelter" your children? We're finding that's a bad word in some circles. Something is creeping into the church (and even the homeschooling community), and it isn't biblical. It is an "anti-sheltering campaign" of sorts, and it's full of holes. Think about it. What does it mean to shelter? Protect. Defend. Guard. Preserve. Watch over. Shield. Safeguard. Hmmmm, so far so good, right? Sure, until "Christian pop psychology" comes in and tells us we should allow our children to taste a little of the world in order to understand it or pray for it ... that we should not "over-shelter" them. Nonsense.

What's the opposite of shelter? Expose. Endanger. We parents are called to be like our Father in Heaven. He is the greatest "Shelterer" there ever was, and it is us He shelters - or watches over; protecting us, preserving us, shielding us. Is God missing something, here? Should He instead follow the advice of those (shamefully, some of these are even pastors!) who say to lay off a bit? Thankfully, the Lord is a bit wiser than that. Praise Him for this! Glory to God who knows how to parent (shelter) us perfectly!

May we as parents follow this model - His model. Let's continue to shelter (love) our children as He loves us. Dismiss the garbage that crawls in; don't buy it. We're promised there will be false teachers, liars in the church (and there are many). I want to keep my eyes focused on Christ, come what may.

By the way, someone once shared with me that when it comes to parenting, she would rather err on the side of being a little too careful/sheltering than to err on the wrong side. Paul and I agree wholeheartedly with this. We would prefer to be a tad "too" protective than to make a major mistake we can't take back once it's done. We've learned some hard lessons over the years.

And as our kids get much older, as we see the Truth in them growing as they take on their own relationship with the Lord, complete with Godly convictions, we can loosen up the reins a little. There's no set formula for this, though, so don't let anyone try and give you one. You know your children better than anyone, and can assess their maturity in the Lord best....But again, be careful. Do it slowly and if you're going to "go overboard", do so on the conservative end. Don't err on the wrong side.

And just to be clear, this doesn't mean to stop sheltering them. During the short time we have them, we have a responsibility to protect them and to guard them against ungodly influences and worldly displays the best we can. The wisest thing we can do right now is to soak them in God's word. Pour it into their hearts. Train them up in His ways so that as they get older and begin to leave the nest, they walk in Truth and can go out and start families, bringing their own children up (tightly to their hips) in the love and admonition of their Lord.

May your sweet children rise up and call you blessed for your faithfulness and hard work in raising them up in Christ. It's not easy, it's often thankless (for years), and you can fall into doubts, especially when you come up against a whining 14 or 16 year old who wants his way (and wants YOU out of his way). Don't give into the doubts; that's a trap. Rather, lovingly stand firm. God stands firmly beside us, sheltering us. May we do the same for our children.

"Glory to God who knows how to parent (shelter) us perfectly!"
Parents: Keep sheltering them. You are bringing them up in the love and admonition of the Lord, not in the latest "homeschool philosophy." God's word trumps any speaker! It dwarfs any author! May you be blessed as you continue to walk in obedience of His word.

Lord, thank you for sheltering me. Please never stop. "Over-shelter" if You will (if there is such a thing). Fine with me!

Over-protect, over-defend, over-guard me; please do! I'll take it all, Lord. Keep me tight to Your side. I'm safe in that place. There, I can breathe and thrive. It's where I find my hope in Christ.

For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a strong tower from the enemy. - Psalms 61:3

Action point: Do you need to repent to someone today for looking down on (judging) them? Have you been a thorn in another parent's side over this issue? Who have you scolded or cryptically "spoken to" about their "overbearance" in regards to their own children? It might be time to humbly pick up the phone or shoot off an email.

Parents who strongly shelter their children are to be praised, not made to feel inadequate or odd. That's the world lying to us, there.

And this world is not our home. "

Paul and Gena Suarez reside in beautiful eastern Tennessee, where they homeschool(ed) their six children: Paul (21), Luke (19), Levi (17), Julia Rachel (14), Susanna Hope (3) and Chloe Abigail (18 months). They enjoy long country drives in the van while listening to books on CD, hanging out with good friends, and staying up late. By the grace of God, the Suarez family publishes The Old Schoolhouse® Magazine, LLC.

______________________

R.C. Sproul, Jr. says it so well.." Clearly there is an appropriate kind of sheltering. When those who are opposed to homeschooling accuse me of sheltering my children, my reply is always, 'What are you going to accuse me of next, feeding and clothing them?'...One of the most compelling arguments I've ever heard for homeschooling is this one given against it: 'My child will rebel if I homeschool him.' The solution for parents who have lost control is never to give up more control. That our children identify more with a circle of friends, a peer group, than they do with our family is the problem, not the solution. If your daughter is more committed to this alternative family of her friends down at the mall, she needs to be removed from that family, and brought back into the repentant family that allowed things to get this far."
______________

New Schoolroom Curtains

2011-08-23T20:30:00.003-04:00

In our rental home, we are blessed to have an extra room for our schoolroom. However, it's the room you have to enter our house through (not good, since it's not always 'neat'). And, it's all pine, so while it's cozy, it's a bit dark sometimes. So, we decided to give the room some color. (I must add that part of this was due to being at my friend, Meg's, house and seeing how she made her schoolroom bright and cheery-made me realize how 'dull' ours was-not very inspiring). So, we headed out to the fabric store a couple weeks ago and-miracle of miracles-my children ALL decided on one fabric! I'm not sure they have ever been able to agree on anything prior to this. :) It's such a fun fabric. I'm hoping, down the road, to make some chair cushions with some coordinating fabric. For now, I am enjoying our little owl curtains. :)

Break in the Day (Dance your pants off!)

2011-08-23T20:27:00.003-04:00

We were in the middle of our first day of school yesterday and needed a break! So, we put on some music and danced til we were too tired to dance anymore! :) Sometimes, you just have to dance. :)

First Day of School 2011 (part 2)

2011-08-23T20:17:00.003-04:00

First Day of School August 2011

2011-08-23T20:12:00.001-04:00

"How was your first day of school?"

Lizzie-"Awesome! I loved it, but I don't like math."

Myra-"Okay. I'm tired."

First Day of Kindergarten 2011

2011-08-22T23:07:00.003-04:00

Mom-"How was your first day of school?"

My Boy-"Nice! I thought it wouldn't be fun, but it was awesome." :)

Today was the first day of the 2011-2012 school year for us. First day of kindergarten for the boy. Honestly, I was a bit anxious about "starting all over" again this year. I mean, my oldest has made it to sixth grade-our eighth year of homeschooling-and the thought of starting all over was a bit overwhelming to me. However, I must say it was so much fun today with him! The little crafts, the fun books. A different pace. He has been sick the last four days, running a high fever, but in between Tylenol doses, he had some energy and did really well. Poor baby! :) We may have to take tomorrow off and go to the doctor. Here's a few pictures from our first day.

We didn't have peppercorns, so we used cloves! They worked!

"A is for Astronaut", so we made a rocket ship with pictures of things that start with A!

When Sorrow and Joy Meet

2011-08-21T09:17:00.004-04:00

I'm sitting here this morning, not at church, because my sweet boy has had a fever and cough the past few days. It's a precious time in a mother's life, to take care of your sick little ones. I'd rather them not be sick, mind you, but there is something about comforting a sick little one, holding them in your arms, tenderly nurturing them. It always makes me realize what affection I have for my children, and what a blessing they are.

This post has nothing to do, really, with my son being sick, but since I'm home, it does give me a chance to post. I read this yesterday in Streams In the Desert, a devotional I have read day by day for the last 17 years, (I never tire of it) and I thought it was such a beautiful reminder to us that I wanted to share.

2 Corinthians 6:10 "As sorrowful, yet always rejoicing."

"Sorrow was beautiful, but her beauty was the beauty of the moonlight shining through the leafy branches of the trees in the wood, and making little pools of silver here and there on the soft green moss below.

When sorrow sang, her notes were like the low sweet call of the nightingale, and in her eyes was the unexpectant gaze of one who has ceased to look for coming gladness. She could weep in tender sympathy with those who weep, but to rejoice with those who rejoice was unknown to her.

Joy was beautiful, too, but his was the radiant beauty of the summer morning. His eyes still held the glad laughter of childhood, and his hair had the glint of the sunshine's kiss. When Joy sang his voice soared upward as the lark's, and his step was the step of a conqueror who has never known defeat. He could rejoice with all who rejoice, but to weep with those who weep was unknown to him.

'But we can never be united,' said Sorrow wistfully.

'No, never.' And Joy's eyes shadowed as he spoke. 'My path lies through the sunlit meadows, and the sweetest roses bloom for my gathering, and the blackbirds and thrushes await my coming to pour forth their most joyous lays.'

'My path,' said Sorrow, turning slowly away,'leads through the darkening woods, with moon-flowers only shall my hands be filled. Yet the sweetest of all earth-songs-the love song of the night-shall be mine; farewell, Joy, farewell.'

Even as she spoke they became conscious of a form standing beside them; dimly seen, but of a Kingly Presence, and a great and holy awe stole over them as they sank on their knees before Him.

'I see Him as the King of Joy,' whispered Sorrow, ' for on His Head are many crowns, and the nailprints in His hands and feet are the scars of great victory. Before Him all my sorrow is melting away into deathless love and gladness, and I give myself to Him forever.'

'Nay, Sorrow,' said Joy softly,'but I see Him as the King of Sorrow, and the crown on His head is a crown of thorns and nailprints in His hands and feet are the scars of a great agony. I, too, give myself to Him forever, for sorrow with Him must be the sweeter than any joy I have ever known.'

'Then we are one in Him,' they cried in gladness,' for none but He could unite Joy and Sorrow.'

Hand in hand they passed out into the world to follow Him through storm and sunshine, in the bleakness of winter cold and the warmth of summer gladness, 'as sorrowful yet always rejoicing.'

Anger (guest post)

2011-08-18T20:31:00.002-04:00

photo © karimcgrathphotography 2011

Anger

By Myra

Everyone gets angry,and I mean everyone. Have you ever felt like you could never forgive? I have. These to two boys were not being nice to me recently,and I felt so angry that I thought I could never forgive them. But I realize anger does not solve anything. It just makes us hate,and not be ourselves. I was so angry at those boys, and I prayed that I would be able to forgive and I prayed and prayed and God made my heart soften. So...I might still think what they did was wrong but I forgive them, and I bet I might get angry at them again but I will turn to God not to my own flesh. If you feel angry at someone then I know some really good verses for you. "The Lord is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love,forgiving iniquity and transgression,but he will by no means clear the guilty,visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children,to the third and the fourth generation." Proverbs 16:32 "Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty and he who rules his spirit than he who takes the city." And, lastly, Nahum 1:3 "The Lord is slow to anger and great in power... " So, when you are angry turn to God he will soften your heart.

All That Is WIthin Me

2011-08-18T09:47:00.003-04:00

(painting by Marc Eckel of Splat Experience)

"Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and all that is within me, bless his holy name!
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,
who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

The Lord works righteousness and justice for all who are oppressed.
He made known his ways to Moses,
his acts to the people of Israel.
The Lord is merciful and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
He will not always chide,
nor will he keep his anger forever.
He does not deal with us according to our sins,
nor repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove
our transgressions from us.
As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
For he knows our frame,
he remembers that we are dust.

As for man, his days are like grass;
he flourishes like a flower of the field;
for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
and its place knows it no more.
But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on
those who fear him,
and his righteousness to children's children,
to those who keep his covenant
and remember to do his commandments.
The Lord has established his throne in the heavens,
and his kingdom rules over all.

Bless the Lord, O you angels,
you mighty ones who do his word,
obeying the voice of his word!
Bless the Lord, all his hosts,
his ministers, who do his will!
Bless the Lord, all his works,
in all places of his dominion.
Bless the Lord, O my soul!"

Psalm 103

Lessons From the Farm-Conversations with my 5 year old

2011-08-17T14:35:00.002-04:00

"Mama," said Nehemiah, "why is that rooster always jumping on the hens backs?"

"Well, it's just a game they like to play," I said.

To which my son replied: "Well, mama, that must be their favorite game, because they play it every day!"

Siblings

2011-08-17T14:20:00.003-04:00

Siblings

By Myra

I am an older sister to Lizzie, age 9,and Nehemiah, age 4. Sometimes they drive me nuts, like when they break my toys, and do not listen when I tell them something. And sometimes I wish they were never born. I know a lot of people feel this way and often I do to. But I realize they are a blessing from God. God gave them to me for a reason, like to teach me patience,and kindness,and many more reasons. I realize that when I treat them right it blesses God so much. Something could happen to them at any moment, so every night I tell them I love them. So treat your siblings in a way that honors God and seek to bless them too.

Computer Dangers and Resolutions

2011-08-17T11:00:00.003-04:00

photo © karimcgrath 2009

"Here are five computer dangers and five resolutions (or vows) that we all might do well to make.

1. DANGER: The hook of constant curiosity

Personal computers offer a neverending possibility for discovery. Even the basic environment of Windows can consume hours and days and weeks of curious punching and experimenting. Color schemes, layouts, screensavers, shortcuts, icons, file-managing, calculators, clocks, calendars. Then there are the endless software applications consuming weeks of your time as they lure you into their intracacies. All this is very deceptive, giving the illusion of power and effectiveness, but leaving you with a feeling of emptiness and nervousness at the end of the day.

RESOLUTION: I will strictly limit my experimental time on the computer and devote myself more to truth than to technique.

2. DANGER: The empty world of virtual (un)reality

How sad to see brilliant, creative people pouring hours and days of their lives into creating cities and armies and adventures that have no connection with reality. We have one life to live. All our powers are given to us by the real God for the real world leading to a real heaven and real hell.

RESOLUTION: I will spend my constructive, creative energy not in the unreality of "virtual reality," but in the reality of the real world.

3. DANGER: Personal relations with my PC

Like no other invention, the personal computer comes closest to being like a person. You can play games with it. There are programs that will dialogue with you about your personality. It will talk to you. It will always be there for you. It is smarter than your dog. The great danger here is that we really become comfortable with this manageable electronic "person," and gradually drift away from the unpredictable, frustrating, sometimes painful dealings with human persons.

RESOLUTION: I will not replace the risk of personal relationships with impersonal electronic safety.

4. DANGER: The risk of tryst

'Tryst\trist\noun: an agreement (as between lovers) to meet.' Sexual affairs begin in private time together, extended conversation, and the sharing of the soul. It can now be done in the absolute exclusion of your private email screen name. It can be immediate and 'live,' or delayed and 'recorded.' You can think that 'it's just nothing'-until he or she shows up in town. It has happened already too many times.

RESOLUTION: I will not cultivate a one-on-one relationship with a person of the opposite sex other than my spouse. If I am single, I will not cultivate such a relationship with another person's spouse.

5. DANGER: Pc Porn

More insidious than x-rated videos, we can now not only watch, but join the perversity in the privacy of our own den. Interactive porn will allow you to 'do it' or make them 'do it' with your mouse. I have never seen it. Nor do I ever intend to. It kills the spirit. It drives God away. It depersonalizes people. It quenches prayer. It blanks out the Bible. It cheapens the soul. It destroys spiritual power. It defiles everything.

RESOLUTION: I will never open any program for sexual stimulation, nor purchase or download anything pornographic.

Computers and the Internet and email are remarkable gifts of God. Yes, they are threats to our schedules and our hearts and families-as is the telephone and the television and radio and a hundred handheld electronic games. All God's gifts can be made idols and even weapons of rebellion against the Giver. But they need not be.

Instead, we should ask with the psalmist,'What shall I render to the Lord for all His benefits toward me?' (Psalm 116:12). And we should answer, as he does. 'I shall lift up the cup of salvation and call upon the name of the Lord. I shall pay my vows to the Lord' (Psalm 116:13-14). In other words, when God helps us-as he does every moment of every day-we will not repay him with wage-labor to even our accounts; but we will (again and again) lift up an empty cup of need and call on him to fill it. And with that fresh gift of grace we will keep our resolution. Not in our strength. But in the 'cup-filling' strength of God. Sit before your computer. Make your vows. And lift up your cup."

(John Piper, Taste and See, pp. 138-140)

Puzzles

2011-08-15T15:49:00.004-04:00

Lizzie wrote this little essay today and asked me if it was okay. It touched my heart, and I was amazed at her analogy (and, I must say, use of the wording in the last sentence). :) I had to share:

"I like puzzles, don't you? I don't know anyone who doesn't like puzzles. Do you know anyone who doesn't like puzzles? The hard puzzles are probably my favorite. Although, I just got done doing a 300 piece puzzle. My favorite puzzle has 1,000 pieces. But the hardest puzzle of all is to follow God in every thing that He does and is yet to do. Sin is an easy puzzle, but following God is the hardest puzzle. And sin will tempt you. It will tell you to just take it easy -like doing an easy puzzle- but you will not find delight in every easy thing that you do." (Lizzie, August 15, 2011)

His Mercy Poured Out on Us

2011-08-15T12:19:00.002-04:00

photo © karimcgrath 2011

I read this this morning in my quiet time and was so encouraged by it. According to His own mercy He saved us. It's nothing we have done, not our good acts, not our striving for "righteousness." It's all Him. What freedom and joy that brings my heart!

"For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hurting one another. But, when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to His own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by His grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life." (Titus 3:3-7)

Trust in God, not Means

2011-08-10T10:38:00.002-04:00

"'Why do I carry on this business, or why am I engaged in this trade of profession?' In most instances, so far as my experience goes, which I have gathered in my service among the saints during the last fifty-one years and a half, I believe the answer would be: 'I am engaged in my earthly calling, that I may earn the means of obtaining the necessaries of life for myself and family.' Here is the chief error from which almost all the rest of the errors, which are entertained by children of God, relative to their calling, spring. It is no right and scriptural motive, to be engaged in trade, or business, or profession, merely in order to earn the means for the obtaining of the necessaries of life for ourselves and family; but we should work, because it is the Lord's will concerning us. This is plain from the following passages: 1 Thess. 4:11-12; 2 Thess. 3:10-12; Eph. 4:28.

It is quite true that, in general, the Lord provides the necessaries of life by means of our ordinary calling; but that that is not THE REASON why we should work, is plain enough from the consideration, that if our possessing the necessaries of life depended upon our ability of working, we could never have freedom from anxiety, for we should always have to say to ourselves, and what shall I do when I am too old to work? or when by reason of sickness I am unable to earn my bread? But if on the other hand, we are engaged in our earthly calling, because it is the will of the Lord concerning us that we should work, and that thus laboring we may provide for our families and also be able to support the weak, the sick, the aged, and the needy, then we have good and scriptural reason to say to ourselves: should it please the Lord to lay me on a bed of sickness, or keep me otherwise by reason of infirmity or old age, or want of employment, from earning my bread by means of the labor of my hands, or my business, or my profession, He will yet provide for me."

(A Narrative of Some of the Lord's Dealing with George Mueller, Written by Himself, Jehovah Magnified. Addresses by George Mueller Complete and Unabridged, vol. 1, 393)

"...This truth applies not only to our vocation but to all areas of life. Moment by moment we use means to keep us alive and accomplish the purposes of God (food, houses, phones, cars, medicines, doctors, builders, advisers, etc). The lesson we need to learn is not to trust in these things when we use them, but to trust wholly in God. This applies also to the planning for our church. We plan. We budget. We teach and preach and counsel. The temptation is to continually trust in these things and not in God to work in and through and without these things. So as we dream toward ministry and missions, let us use means, but let us trust God. His promises are the only sure thing. All our means are fallible.

Mueller summed up the principle like this: 'This is one of the great secrets in connection with successful service for the Lord; to work as if everything depended upon our diligence, and yet not to rest in the least upon our exertions, but upon the blessing of the Lord..."

(John Piper, Taste and See)

Where Your Treasure Is

2011-08-10T10:09:00.003-04:00

"..There is in the life and teachings of Jesus a relentless tendency toward simplicity. There is a steady impulse toward living at risk, and with a kind of abandon to the Father's care that looks foolish to the well-off world. There is an unsettling otherworldliness that made Jesus and his first followers radically useful in this dead-end world. There is a freedom from things and for the kingdom that thrills the heart of his disciples.

Lord, give us this freedom. At any cost, free us from the bondage to this world, and its images of success and power. Open our eyes to see that 'what is exalted among men is an abomination in the sight of God' (Luke 16:15). Grant us to live as aliens and exiles. And fix our eyes on the all-satisfying, everlasting joy of arriving in heaven on the Calvary road of love and service." (John Piper, Taste and See, p. 261)

1000 Gifts #387

2011-08-09T18:46:00.003-04:00

#387. That God gives me opportunities all day long (and everywhere I look!) to see how very blessed I am to have a house full of children...a family of my own, to love and serve.

(note the Nerf darts on the ceiling!)

(dirty dishes left on the table)

(craft items and books left in the wrong place)

(laundry to be put away..always laundry and more laundry)

(legos-aka 'deadly toys for your feet'-all over the carpet in the living room)

"..The world I live in is loud and blurring and toilets plug and I get speeding tickets and the dog gets sick all over the back step and I forget everything and these six kids lean hard into me all day to teach and raise and lead and I fail hard and there are real souls that are at stake and how long do I really have to figure out how to live full of grace, full of joy-before these six beautiful children fly the coop and my mothering days fold up quiet? How do you open the eyes to see how to take the daily, domestic, workday vortex and invert it into the dome of an everyday cathedral?.." (Anne Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts)

1000 Gifts (332+)

2011-07-22T10:58:00.004-04:00

(some of the flowers my children picked for me)

332. the way God shows me His love through my children
333. Lizzie's little hands massaging my shoulders while I'm reading my Bible, just to speak to me of her love for me
334. babies-like Deacon and Quin-always making me smile..what a gift the little ones are!
335. intimacy
336. "no wrath is awakened in God at my sin, because Christ appeased it!"
337. my "feelings" are not the final word
338. a great VBS week
339. dramas that make me cry
340. ice cream dinners in the heat
341. time with my friend, Jama-to feel normal, and loved, and to love back
342. Myra's tears-weeping with me and for me
343. Lizzie hugs
344. Nehemiah kisses
345. wildflowers in vases, a gift from my children
346. humility, an ever ongoing work in me
347. muffins and fruit
348. waking up early and the quiet
349. food and clothing..with these I am to be content
350. the past is gone, He is doing a new thing
351. gluten free brownies..the best brownies I've ever had!
352. air conditioners..thank you, Jesus!
353. our church
354. the warmth of antiques
355. freshly picked blueberries, a gift from a friend
356. my sisters and getting to know each other as adults..you girls are beautiful and I love you
357. the hard questions..causing us to fall on our knees..and even when there are no answers, He is still on the throne, and He knows the answers
358. thunderstorms
359. queen anne's lace..how did He get them so delicate?
360. yogurt with honey and berries
361. my parents, always loving us, no matter what, always there to laugh and cry with us
362. my husband, a man of integrity
363. swimming with Robyn, and getting my legs to see some sun for the first time. :)
364. lots of company
365. precious time with my nephews and my family
366. water balloon fight with MOM (who is this fun woman?) :)
367. cookouts and hot dogs over the campfire
368. small victories, for HIS glory
369. Bible study and accountability with my dear friend, Gladine
370. blue skies and beautiful sunsets
371. tall corn and the way the wind blows through the cornfields outside my window
372. such a handsome husband! how lucky I am! :)
373. excedrin (has nothing to do with said husband!) :)
374. walks
375. God's word, which will not return void unto Him
376. gentle breezes
377. food for our enjoyment
378. my hard working husband
379. I have so much more than I deserve
380. sunflower seed shells everywhere I look..all over the house...in the oddest places...traces of my husband who I'm so luck to have. :)
381. my hands are full...of good gifts
382. that all 3 kids still fight over who gets to sit or lay next to me..every time! I am very loved.
383. a peaceful rest outside on a blanket with the kiddos, reading, enjoying Gods' creation
384. blue slushies with my family
385. a fun cookout with our lifegroup (and that other lifegroup) and funny stories and seeing Matt up against the doorframe and Kate's dramatic way of storytelling, which I will NEVER forget :)
386. His unfailing love and faithfulness and His daily strength

The Certainty of Love

2011-07-22T10:37:00.002-04:00

"Terror accomplishes no real obedience.
Suspense brings forth no fruit unto holiness.
No gloomy uncertainty as to God's favor
can subdue one lust,
or correct our crookedness of will.
But the free pardon of the cross uproots sin,
and withers all its branches.
Only the certainty of love,
forgiving love,
can do this."

-Horatio Bonar

When Is the Time to Trust?

2011-07-22T09:11:00.002-04:00

"When is the time to trust?
Is it when all is calm,
When waves the victor's palm,
And life is one glad psalm
Of joy and praise?
Nay! but the time to trust
Is when waves beat high,
When storm clouds fill the sky,
And prayer is one long cry,
O help and save!

When is the time to trust?
Is it when friends are true?
Is it when comforts woo,
And in all we say and do
We meet but praise?
Nay! but the time to trust
Is when we stand alone,
And summer birds have flown,
And every prop is gone,
All else but God.

What is the time to trust?
Is it some future day,
When you have tried your way,
And learned to trust and pray
By bitter woe?
Nay! but the time to trust
Is in the moment's need,
Poor, broken, bruised reed!
Poor, troubled soul, make speed
To trust thy God.

What is the time to trust?
Is it when hopes beat high,
When sunshine gilds the sky,
And joy and ecstasy
Fill all the heart?
Nay! but the time to trust
Is when our joy is fled, When sorrow bows the head,
And all is cold and dead,
All else but God."

(Selected from Streams in the Desert)

He Delays

2011-07-10T08:13:00.002-04:00

(our house in KY-on the market 369? days now) :)

"I called upon him, but he gave me no answer." (S. of Sol. 5:6)

"The Lord, when He hath given great faith, hath been known to try it, by long delayings. He has suffered His servants' voices to echo in their ears as from a brazen sky. They have knocked at the golden gate, but it has remained unmovable, as though it were rusted upon its hinges. Like Jeremiah, they have cried, 'Thou has covered thyself with a cloud, that our prayer should not pass through.' Thus have true saints continued long in patient waiting without reply, not because their prayers were not vehement, nor because they were unaccepted, but because it so pleased Him who is a Sovereign, and who gives according to His own pleasure. If it pleases him to bid our patience exercise itself, shall He not do as He will with His own!

No prayer is lost. Praying breath ws never spent in vain. There is no such thing as prayer unanswered or unnoticed by God, and some things that we count refusals or denials are simply delays." (H. Bonar, from Streams in the Desert)

My Eyes Have Not Been Open

2011-06-10T11:52:00.003-04:00

(this is "our" farm)

"..How we behold determines if we hold joy. Behold glory and be held by God." (Anne Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts)

"..The truly saved have eyes of faith and lips of thanks.." (A.V.)

"..how we behold determines if we hold joy.."...So, I guess I haven't been "beholding" rightly lately. I mean, I've been okay. It's just with the crazy move (bringing all our stuff from Kentucky), and that being our ninth move in 14 years, a month of unpacking and sorting, getting rid of stuff we've carried around for too many moves; the kids have been out of whack..not on a normal schedule, not sleeping as well; my emotional state (which some know to be a bit high normally) :) has been in a funk, I suppose to say it right.

Nothing has seemed "right." Not this lovely farm..I haven't been able much to see past the "old" smells, the "no putting nails in the walls", the carpet in the kitchen (really! why do you put carpet in the kitchen?), the "not enough space for my stuff." I guess I've been kind of stuck here, in the middle of the chaos of the move. And, then I suppose you could tack on the past year of our home not selling, the people in our past that live their lives like tornadoes (as Sara Groves puts it-"destruction follows you every where you go."), the adjustment of our second move in ten months..well, I could go on. I have plenty of "excuses" for being a bit "high strung" lately, for being a bit depressed, for struggling to get through these days.

But, I think it comes down to the fact that I haven't had my eyes open enough. There is beauty and life all around me. The other night my daughter asked if we could take some leftover dessert to our neighbors, and so I packed up the rest of the strawberry shortcake and she took it over. Later, I had a long conversation about her life and her cancer. Eyes opening. Is that why we're here?

The house is "in order" now-well, as much as it is ever for us. We had company for dinner last night. Dinner was good, the candles were lit, the praise music was going. There was peace in our home. Peace. Joy. In our little family, our simple farmhouse (with its funky brown carpet on the stairs-no, wait, is it green? who can tell?), there was peace and joy. Eyes opening.

Then I read this above quote today, and I ask God to help me behold. To open my eyes. To see past the last month..or six months of unrest. To see what He's doing. To remember how much we love being here..our church, our friends. To remember how much I've always wanted an old farmhouse. To open my eyes to Him. To open my heart back up to Him..fully. To let go...of my pride, of my resentment, of my discontentment. To love others and serve Him. To behold true beauty..the beauty of the Lord. In the everyday mundane. In the "less than perfect" life. Open my eyes, God, to see you. Open my eyes to look beyond me. For isn't that the real struggle? I get all caught up in "me" and then I can't see clearly.

So, maybe I never imagined nine moves in 14 years. Maybe I imagined I'd have more material possessions (or at least more expensive ones). (and I must add-in that dream, I was a lot thinner after three kids!) :) But, maybe I never knew the joy that would come from seeing the Lord provide. Maybe I just couldn't see that His ways are not only higher, but better for me. I see sometimes, and sometimes my eyes close. But, I KNOW I would rather be nowhere else. Nowhere but right here. On this farm. Surrounded by dear friends, who love me and live life with me. Part of a church family, who are like none we have ever known. With this precious family God has given me....loved and loving. Three children who daily give me joy. (well, okay, the boy has given me more headaches lately, but the joy is there..interspersed) :) Here with my husband who leads me to the cross and pours his love on me. Here is where I want to be. Here is what God has for me. Yes, my eyes are opening again....

Conversations with my 4-year-old

2011-06-07T10:27:00.003-04:00

Boy: "Mom, can I leave my shirt off when Tyler and Beau get here?"

Me: "Why?"

Boy: "Because I want to be cool." (as in hip!)

Me: "Nehemiah, you are already cool? Know why? Because you are our son and daddy and I are super cool."

Boy: "Yeah, you're like the coolest person I know, mom."

(I'm thinking he doesn't get out enough!) :)

Love that Redeems With A Price

2011-05-31T10:47:00.003-04:00

photo © kari mcgrath photography 2009

"The cry of a man's anguish went up to God,
'Lord, take away pain:
The shadow that darkens the world Thou hast made,
The close-coiling chain
That strangles the heart, the burden that weighs
On the wings that would soar,
Lord, take away pain from the world Thou hast made,
That it love Thee the more.'

Then answered the Lord to the cry of His world:
'Shall I take away pain,
And with it the power of the soul to endure,
Made strong by the strain?
Shall I take away pity, that knits heart to heart
And sacrifice high?
Will ye lose all your heroes that lift from the fire
White brows to the sky?
Shall I take away love that redeems with a price
And smiles at its loss?
Can ye spare from your lives that would climb to Me
The Christ on His cross?' "

(from Streams In The Desert)

Happy Memorial Day!

2011-05-30T20:23:00.004-04:00

photo © kari mcgrath 2010

Well, I've been meaning to blog lately, but have been so busy with our move to the farmhouse. I'll post about that soon! I'm so thankful today to be living in America. With all its faults, we are blessed. I was talking to some friends from Mexico yesterday, and they reminded me how good we have it here-how secure we are, how wealthy we are, how blessed we are. So, today, I'm greatful to God, and I'm so thankful to all those who serve our great country to keep us safe. My family is full of past and present military personnel. So, thank you to: Grandpa Kidwell, Uncle Joe, my cousin Nathan, his wife Tonya, my cousin Shane, my dad Gary. I hope I'm not forgetting anyone. Thank you for your sacrifices, for your service. And, thank you, God, for the many blessings we are surrounded with here that we daily take for granted.

C.H. Spurgeon's Mother (repost)

2011-05-08T20:20:00.001-04:00

C.H. Spurgeon, "the prince among preachers", is one of my favorites! I love reading his sermons-I am always inspired, convicted, and encouraged. I will always remember what he wrote about his mother in the first volume of his autobiography, in the chapter entitled, "Early Religious Impression." We can certainly learn from her example:

"..I cannot tell you how much I owe to the solemn words of my good mother. It was the custom on Sunday evenings, while we were yet little children, for her to stay at home with us, and then we sat round the table, and read verse by verse, and she explained the Scriptures to us. After that was done, then came the time of pleading...and the question was asked, how long would it be before we would think about our state, how long before we seek the Lord. Then came a mother's prayer, and some of the words of that prayer we shall never forget, even when our hair is grey. I remember on one occassion, her praying thus: 'Now, Lord, if my children go on in their sins, it will not be from ignorance that they perish, and my soul must bear a swift witness against them at the day of judgement if they lay not hold of Christ.' That thought of a mother's bearing swift witness against me, pierced my conscience, and stirred my heart....

Fathers and mothers are the most natural agents for God to use in the salvation of their children. I am sure that, in my early youth, no teaching ever made such an impression upon my mind as the instruction of my mother; neither can I conceive that, to any child, there can be one who will have such influence over the young heart as the mother who has so tenderly cared for her offspring. A man with a soul so dead as not to be moved by the sacred name 'mother' is creation's blot. Never could it be possible for any man to estimate what he owes to a godly mother. Certainly I have not the powers of speech with which to set forth my valuation of the choice blessing which the Lord bestowed upon me in making me the son of one who prayed for me, and prayed with me. How can I ever forget her tearful eye when she warned me to escape from the wrath to come?...How can I ever forget when she bowed her knee, and with her arms about my neck, prayed, 'Oh, that my son might live before Thee!' Nor can her frown be effaced from my memory-that solemn, loving frown, when she rebuked my budding iniquities; and her smiles have never faded from my recollections-the beaming of her countenance when she rejoiced to see some good thing in me towards the Lord God of Israel."

He Will Deliver

2011-05-03T11:10:00.002-04:00

"And it shall come to pass that whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be delivered." (Joel 2:32)

"...I need not ask whether I may call on Him or not, for that word 'whosoever' is a very wide and comprehensive one. Whosoever means me, for it means anybody and everybody who calls upon God. I will therefore follow the leading of the text, and at once call upon the glorious Lord who has made so large a promise.

My case is urgent, and I do not see how I am to be delivered; but this is no business of mine. He who makes the promise will find ways and means of keeping it. It is mine to obey His commands; it is not mine to direct His counsels. I am His servant; not His solicitor. I call upon Him, and He will deliver." (C.H. Spurgeon)

Thankful Monday (306+)

2011-04-25T17:47:00.005-04:00

Photo © Kari McGrath Photography

So, it's Monday. It was a good day. Kids were well behaved, house got "cleaned", errands got ran. However, my mood has not been so great the past few hours..not sure why..could be the diet (ah-why do lack of carbs leave me feeling grouchy?) , could be the weather (rainy and dreary), could be that doggone house in Kentucky still not selling. It could be the time I spent online today trying to find ideas for our new rental house (that we can't paint or hang anything with nails on the wall-are you feeling sorry for me yet?)...which I think left me more depressed, because of all the amazing ideas I found that require paint and nails.

I mean, it's small things like that that can throw my day off...me, who has lived overseas and "suffered"through cold water showers and squatty potties to mention just a few things...those days seem too far away. Ack-and then I think of Chris and Evie Jones, committing the next 20 YEARS to plant a church in a tribe in Papau, New Guinea..giving up everything. It's surprising God hasn't taken me yet. And, I don't say that lightly. I know it is ONLY the grace of God that I don't get struck with lightning or worse every time I step out my door. Pastor Larry says "We live under the smile of God." That comforts me, and you'd understand the depth of that if you saw inside my heart.

But, something has left me in a funk...a feeling sorry for myself, blah, moody funk. So, I think it's time today to start listing things God has given me, that I am thankful for. I have to get through the rest of the night...I still have dinner (well, it's in the oven) and exercising ahead of me tonight! Still have children to cuddle with, husband to serve. I need thankfulness, contentment. Once again, why do these things evade me so quickly? Why do I so quickly find myself going from good mood to "in the depths of despair?" (as Anne of Green Gables would say)

Yesterday celebrated not only our Lord's resurrection from the grave-He is Risen! Hallelujah! It also celebrated 31 years of salvation for me. He saved me, redeemed my life from the pit. At a young age, He called me unto Himself. Is that not reason enough to live life fully, with eyes wide open to every blessing that surrounds me? Do I ever need despair again? But, I do. And, I do it so quickly. Nothing major need set me off. 31 years of God's faithfulness and kindess and patience. Yes, I have MORE than I deserve. So, here I am, once again asking forgiveness, once again needing to remind myself of ALL He has given me, the big and "small" blessings. The need for peace in my heart and joy in all He has done.

"...that I'd day after day greedily take what looks like its good from Your hand-a child gloating over sweet candy...but that I'd thrash wild to escape when what You give from your hand feels bad-like gravel in the mouth. Oh, Father, forgive...Should I accept good from you, and not trouble?" (Job 2:10) (Anne Voskamp)

306. a free refrigerator for our new rental home

307. a free stove for our new rental home

308. a farmhouse to rent, complete with free range chickens (a country girl's delight)

309. that I KNOW (even when I don't FEEL) that His ways are higher than mine

310. a gift card to a local coffee shop

311. kids who are learning to be thankful, too

312. my dear friend, Elizabeth, who is always one step 'ahead' of me in learning to be content, and deals with life as it comes, steady in her emotions..a true gift of a friend to this 'too easily carried away with her emotions' gal

313. walls and a roof to protect us from the storms

314. running water

315. plenty of good food-we have never been hungry, not one day

316. hands to do dishes with-who needs a dishwasher anyways? :)

317. children with hands to do dishes :)

318. God's Word-a light to my path

319. our "vacation lake house" for the last nine months-what a refreshing time it has been

320. that I live under His smile, even when I KNOW I don't deserve it-what a gracious God He is

321. that my 'feelings' are not the end of the story

322. child hugs

323. that I have the freedom to homeschool

324. that we have so much stuff-we have been so blessed- we have to sell some of it or give it away several times a year

325. that this world is not my real home

326. carbohydrates..even in a small amount :)

327. big, strong, manly, yet tender (husband) hugs

328. fruit...thank you, God, for fruit!

329. baby turtles (I had never seen one before today..just a hatchling..the cutest thing!) Thanks for sharing, Devin!

330. ice in my drink (Europe doesn't know what they're missing!)

331. 31 years of God's saving grace

Thankful Tuesday (301+) in Pictures

2011-04-12T22:02:00.003-04:00

301. laughter

302. kids who love to read

303. coupons

304. my church

305. a husband who is always playing with our children

Lovely (Inexpensive) Kitchen Remodel

2011-04-12T14:08:00.004-04:00

I love this kitchen, and it was fun to read how she did everything on a budget...and I'm a big fan of a budget! :) I got a lot of good ideas from it..not that I currently have a kitchen to redo..but for future reference. :) http://go.tipjunkie.com/dc/888/www.shabbyfrenchcottage.com/2011/04/french-farm-kitchen.html

Conversations with my 4-year-old

2011-04-12T08:37:00.003-04:00

So, the other morning, 4 year old boy and I were talking in bed. And, he was talking about how God forgives his sins. So, I asked him (again), how his sins were forgiven, and reminded him it was only by the blood of Jesus Christ, shed for him. We talked about the cross and all Jesus went through on the cross, and it was a "moment." You know, one of those parenting moments when you feel like you're "getting through" and imparting such wisdom and God is working. One of those moments where your child will look back and ponder on when he's older. And, then he said, "Yes, Jesus died on the cross for my sins. Mom, was that, like, in the 80s?" :)

Unredeemed

2011-04-11T23:56:00.001-04:00

And, just one more song to share. This CD was given me by a friend recently, and I hadn't got a chance to listen to it until the other day. And, this song just kept getting played over and over in my car, while tears were streaming down my face.

Less Like Scars

2011-04-11T23:46:00.003-04:00

This has been a sort of "theme song" for this past 8 months for me. I wish I could have found a better video, but couldn't. Anyhow, so glad God can take the scars and make them look more like character.

Get Real!

2011-04-11T22:56:00.006-04:00

(yes, that's my laundry pile...on a GOOD day!)

So, I have had several people mention to me lately that they enjoy reading my blog, and I admit that I don't keep up on it as I should. Honestly, as I have told them, one of my excuses is that when times are rough, I either don't have it in me or don't feel I have anything "worthy" of sharing. And, each time I have heard (paraphrased), "that's when you SHOULD blog." And, I know that, but I realize I am not as flowery as Anne Voskamp. Her bad days still sound poetic and her honesty touches your soul. I'm afraid all I'll get out is "Um...I'm a mess and my day was crappy!" And, can you even say the "c" word and be a good Christian? :) But, I think of what Milton Vincent said when he wrote that the cross exposed him for who he was, and now he has nothing left to hide.

Is that what I'm doing? Hiding when days aren't so pretty? Am I only wanting to show my best side? And, is that wisdom or pride? I guess it would depend on the day and the struggle. So, I will make an effort to post even when I'm not doing so well, if I can bring God glory doing so. If I'm stuck in my flesh, you're better off not knowing...I'm afraid to bring you down, too!

The last eight plus months in Indiana has been overall amazing. We feel like God put us in our little lake house and He has refreshed and encouraged us. The church He brought us to, the people He has surrounded us with. We couldn't imagine being anywhere else. We continue to be amazed at all His grace. And, it flows from these people we're surrounded by. Grace and mercy and humility. And, I am often brought to tears with gratefulness.

The past few months, however, have had their ups and downs. People from our past failing "us" again, and causing us to do some serious soul-searching, and dealing with hurts and even opening up new ones. And, struggling and fighting in our souls, and hurting and healing. But, God revealing himself more through it all. And, dealing with the stress of a house being on the market for nine months and having to find a new rental for this season, and remaining content through it all..and I don't always do so well.

My faith is so small. And, why? My God is so big. I KNOW that. I have been through this before. Really? The same struggle? I wonder how He doesn't get weary of me. I am easily tempted with despair..either over a situation or over my reaction to a situation. And, then the serpent comes and whispers "how can you even be saved? He must be growing weary of you. " And, then the words of that hymn come and fill my soul.."when satan tempts me to despair and tells me of the guilt within, upward I look and see Him there, who made an end to all my sin. Because the sinless Savior died, my sinful soul is counted free, for God the just is satisfied to look on Him and pardon me." And, grace fills me again, and renewed hope. And, then I wake up the next day and sometimes it starts all over again. And, our pastor reminded us on Sunday..it's WAR. Satan is seeking whom he may devour. And, I have felt hotly pursued at times recently. (in my light, momentary afflictions)

The other day I told Shane I felt like God was holding me in his hands and "crushing me." And, then He speaks to me...no, not crushed. And, He reminds me of 2 Corinthians..."But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies." He says, "go back to the cross, Kari. Carry with you my death daily. Preach to yourself." And, I don't...I listen to myself too much. As I tell Shane, "the voices are baaaaack." And, doesn't it seem that way sometimes, like the voices just keep going on and on and tempting you to despair and it's all you can do to fight them, let alone do your laundry and love others and serve your family?

And, so, that's the truth about me. That's real. But, as great a sinner as I am, He is a GREATER Savior. And, I keep thinking my strength has run out, I have no more faith, that I am at the end of my rope, and then I wake up okay again...with peace. And, it's all grace.

1000 Gifts (268+)

2011-04-11T22:37:00.003-04:00

"It's ridiculous how much joy a moment can hold." (Anne Voskamp)

268. the comfort of old friends and a weekend with some dear ones

269. the smell of a baby

270. a gift card to a coffee shop-from a friend, because she had it and thought I needed it more than her

271. the chance to treat my sister to coffee shop on said gift card and time with her and good conversation and getting to know her better

272. free swim Monday

273. free swim at hotel

274. goodwill clothes

275. kids learning to be thankful

276. our lifegroup-and getting to know them better

277. passing the Indiana driving (written) test the first time

278. a backrub from my daughter today, just because I was a bit stressed and she knew, and she showed me grace

279. a text from a friend at just the right time, because God had put me on her heart, because He knew what I needed...the tears it brought to my eyes that HE knew

280. peace

281. laughter with my two sweet friends tonight at free swim...I'm so thankful that God gives me such wonderful ladies to know and maybe even HUG (wink, wink, H!)

282. good books to spur me on

283. for victory this week

284. for those who have gone before us, and left their stories so we don't feel so alone or helpless

285. thunderstorms

286. he still loves me...after all these years

287. new jeans, half price...thanks, sis

288. wood ceilings..gorgeous and warm and comforting

289. 8 months "vacation" in our lake house...I will miss it

290. generous people in God's kingdom, who have much and give much

291. two church families offering us to live with them if we needed...though we may not need it, both times it brought tears to my eyes, because of their graciousness and the healing that brings to our hearts, though they may not even know it

292. that nothing in our lives will be unredeemed

293. that "the pain and hurt look less like scars and more like character" in His hands

294. I am a great sinner, but have a greater Savior

295. cheeseburger soup on a low carb diet

296. honey dijon almonds

297. opening windows to let spring breezes in

298. lessons from years gone by

299. three people looking at our KY house last week

300. daily provision

Educating our Children

2011-04-11T16:47:00.002-04:00

(photo © kari mcgrath 2010)

"...Because what will the math really matter if they are bitter? If the house is immaculate — but my attitude a mess? If they can count — but they don’t know how to count all things as joy? If we get the lists done, but have lost happiness in Him? How can any grammar skill outweigh the fact they don’t know the language of grace and thanks? What good will it be if they can recite all the major British battles — but they don’t know to see beauty? What am I teaching our children if I’m not living simply, quietly this: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Phil. 4:8). Focusing on what is beautiful, good, true –isn’t this the truest education?..." (Anne Voskamp, "How to (help) Raise Grateful Kids")

Thoughts on Hospitality (link)

2011-04-07T09:02:00.003-04:00

(photo © kari mcgrath 2010)

"...Ultimately, hospitality is not limited to a space or time. It matters not how large your home is or how generous your table settings. It is rather a lifestyle of generosity. It asks with each purchase: “can this be used to bless others?” When we evaluate our budget and spending, it asks: “How can we live more simply so we can have extra means to pour love on others?” It steps back at the beginning of each week and instead of focusing on ourselves, it starts by asking: “Who can I bless this week? What is one practical way I could minister to another?” The more we plant these thoughts and seeds, the more they will become a passion of our hearts. And in this process, we will be storing up treasures in heaven rather than on this moth infested earth.

Cultivating a lifestyle of generosity ignores perfection and entertaining. As Pat Ennis says, “Entertaining focuses on having a beautiful table decor or preparing gourmet food. Biblical hospitality is a demonstration of love. Food and other elements are merely tools used to express our love for people. Our motivation for being hospitable is a response to God’s work in our lives.” We have been recipients of such merciful grace through Christ’s work on the cross, and thus practicing hospitality and generosity is an outpouring of love and the joy that we have experienced as partakers of God’s grace. It is an overflow. Thus our focus should not be on the perfect meal or presentation, but on letting others see a glimpse of Christ in our hearts..." (Passionate Homemaking Blog)

1000 Gifts (241+)

2011-04-04T22:54:00.006-04:00

(photo © kari mcgrath 2009)

"..I am a woman who speaks but one language, the language of the fall-discontentment and self-condemnation, the critical eye and the never satisfied...to learn how to be grateful and happy, whether hands full or empty. That is a secret worth spending a life on learning..." (Anne Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts)

241. hot showers

242. "quiet time" with God in the midst of the craziness of the morning

243. 4 year old hugs

244. salad with strawberries and chicken

245. time getting to know some sweet ladies a little deeper

246. sweet, cuddly babies and the way they smell and the comfort they bring and the way their smiles can brighten your day

247. helpful girls..I don't have to do it all alone

248. computer math programs...to make up for my weak points

249. knowing I was made for more, and God's grace to walk that out

250. no laundry on the floor...at least for the one hour left in this day :)

251. dishes done...at least for the next eight hours

252. knowing that a pile of dishes tomorrow means my children are with me and are well fed

253. knowing that a pile of laundry on the floor tomorrow means we are well clothed and have more than maybe we need

254. cilantro cream chicken

255. emealz...giving me a bit more time in my week

256. for the hope that lies ahead

257. knowing that God does not change..and being able to look back and see good and have hope of good for the future

258. to be able to feel "at home" in a place that is not "our" home, and where we don't even have our "stuff"...but to know that we are home because God gave us this place for this season, and it has been above and beyond what we could have asked or thought

259. the strength, from God, to say no to what is not beneficial for me for the last four days..only by His grace

260. for L and G and the way they minister to our souls and say words that bring encouragement and comfort, and make me cry and be so thankful for all God has done in bringing us here, because of His grace..and they show His grace

261. for H bringing me "Made to Crave"..God knowing just what I needed and speaking to me and showing me there is a higher way, and giving me daily strength

262. for my camera and the gifts God has given me and showing me who He is through my lens, and giving me peace with who He's made ME to be, and peace not to compare myself so much, and peace to let go for a season and just enjoy

263. my man, who never ceases to amaze me with the way he looks at me and loves me and wraps his arms around me..and he knows me too well..and he keeps loving me anyways..

264. for God's word, that pierces to my marrow, and exposes me, but doesn't leave me naked and cold, rather shows me I'm covered by the blood...and I'm free..and I'm loved...no longer an object of wrathe..because of Christ

265. the warm down comforter I will crawl under soon tonight

266. the warm man I will lie next to soon tonight

267. God's provisions for TODAY

268. the children that will crawl into bed with us in the morning, just to be near us, to cuddle..the remembering that they are GIFTS

My Prayer Today for Gratitude and Humility

2011-04-04T11:09:00.004-04:00

(photo © kari mcgrath 2009)

Lord, today may I "sit on the ground before you", make myself low. Lord, make me a woman out of whom gratitude for your good gifts flows. May my gratitude be an overflow of a humble heart.

God, forgive me of pride-of an ungrateful, complaining spirit. Forgive me for being too often wrapped up in myself and thinking much of me and little of others. God, I whine and I become resentful when things don't go my way or I don't understand. Yet, I know you oppose the proud-you literally "stiff-arm" the proud. You keep them at a distance.

God, help me to humble myself, so that you will draw near to me and pour your grace today into my life. Cleanse and purify my heart, Lord. Give me victory over the "noisy, demanding tyrant of self." Enable me, by your spirit, to be a thankful woman, even when the circumstances surrounding me may not change.

God, teach me to be "wrapped up in Christ." Teach me, God, to think much of you and of others, and think little, if at all, of myself. God, anything I have is better than I deserve. Anything you provide is more than I deserve. God, you owe me nothing. Forgive me of ever feeling I am entitled to more. Forgive me of feeling I deserve an easy life. Forgive me of wanting everyone to love me or treat me well. I think too highly of myself, God.

Lord, I am so prideful. I am so weak. My faith is so small. Teach me your ways. Forgive me for doubting your goodness, of thinking I can trust myself better than you. Make me a woman after your heart, God. Make me a woman who knows you and trusts you. I believe, help my unbelief!

(personal prayer adapted from p. 183-184, "Choosing Gratitude" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss)

Thursday is for Thanksgiving (221+)

2011-03-31T16:37:00.003-04:00

(photo © kari mcgrath photography 2009)

"As long as thanks is possible, then joy is always possible. Joy is always possible. Whenever, meaning-now: wherever, meaning-here." (Anne Voskamp)

221. my new book, a gift from my friend, H., because she wants me to be whole, too. Thank you.

222. 3 bags of household cleaning supplies from my friend, J.L., last week. When I did not ask for them or even pray for them. Just because she thought of me at Wal-Mart. And, that same night, I ran out of a few things she got me...even before I knew I needed them. Thank you, God, that you knew.

223. my friend, J.H., who listens when I pour my heart out. Who lets me cry and be real, and doesn't make me feel like I have to hide. God knew I needed you.

224. mom, who also lets me be real and cry on her shoulder, who gives me compassion and words of comfort, and Godly advice; who makes you feel better just because she lets you 'get it all out' and she's okay to keep on loving you

225. for daily provision, enough for today

226. to be able to know God has tomorrow, He has it all planned out, and it's good

227. free clothes for the kids; hand-me-downs are God's blessings

228. for little feet

229. for my beloved, who so faithfully follows God and keeps on, even when he doesn't understand, even when he doubts for a moment...he keeps on

230. that I don't have to dwell on the past, because God is doing a new thing. I see!

231. for old friends, Kentucky friends, who reached out to me and my children last week, and loved us and cared for our tummies and our souls. I am so thankful for the time I had with you. I see clearly now how God had each one of you in my life.

232. for my daughter, who is so excited that she gets to help her friend going to "Guacamala" :) next week, by making bracelets to give to 'the least of these'

233. giggles...girl giggles

234. that the testing of our faith is not for nothing...it produces patience. and patience will have it's perfect work.

235. coffee with honey and cinnamon

236. sunshine

237. body parts that are at least working, if not perfect to my standards

238. that He gave the doc wisdom, just like I asked

239. strawberries

240. peace for today

Tuesday is for being Thankful (196+)

2011-03-15T17:48:00.004-04:00

"...When did I start seeing children as commonplace and stop seeing motherhood as a holy place?...children never for us, to please us, to fulfill us, but I am for her, to nurture and protect and serve and children are the gift and parents are the ones who give..." (Anne Voskamp)

On this, my 35th birthday, I realize God has given me so many gifts...and this blog post (link above) reminded me how thankful I am to have my children. Some days are hard, some days seem long, but as she said in that post.."I get to do this!" What a blessing I have been given. And, today, I am so thankful for my sweet family, my amazing husband, my sweet children. I am blessed!

196. rainy days

197. snuggle time in the mornings with my kids

198. homemade birthday cards

199. milky way lattes (thanks, honey!)

200. carbs on my birthday :)

201. 4 more pounds gone!

202. sweet birthday messages on my phone

203. crazy chipmunk birthday songs that make me laugh (thanks, Cari!)

204. movie time with my kiddos

205. laughter

206. friends who "spur me on"

207. answers

208. knowing we're not alone in this race

209. five days away with my husband

210. peace in the midst of a storm

211. fresh, clean "baby" (4 year old) smell after a bath and lotion

212. hope

213. a faithful husband

214. a 4 year old boy who loves "my beautiful lips" and wants to marry me-I will enjoy it while it lasts :)

215. authenticity

216. humility being lived out before me

217. red barns and snow in Wisconson

218. spring in the air

219. grace, unending grace

220. a God who never changes, He is ever faithful

Free from this world

2011-03-11T00:23:00.004-05:00

"...As sinful and mortal human beings, we are so attached to this world and its temporary pleasures. Even as believers, we are deeply entrenched in worldly ways of thinking and living. Unless God lovingly loosens our grip on the things of the world, we will never be as likely to long for Him; we will never learn to desire eternity in heaven with Him, where our lives will finally be free from the burdens of this world. Part of the reality of struggle and the need to trust God in it is the reality that we are being fitted and prepared for a heavenly kingdom of beauty, perfect love, and eternal pleasures and purposes. We are also being freed, day-by-day, from this present world." (Sally Clarkson)

Are we living with a wartime mentality?

2011-03-10T09:44:00.004-05:00

"We have money to use it in such a way that we show that money is not our god, but God is our God. That's why we have money. Money is given to us to use it in a way to show the world that money is not our treasure, but Christ is our treasure."

I was so convicted and challenged by this short video, that it brought tears to my eyes. I like my comfort, though we have never had swarms of money. I realize I do not live in a "wartime" mentality. I have struggled lately with our house not selling in KY, and wondered why. I felt like God opened up my heart today to realize it is more important what I do with God's name through this season than whether our house sells or not. He led me to 2 Corinthians 6, where Paul gives testimony to his apostolic ministry. He says, "...by great endurances..hardships..hunger...as poor, yet making many rich, as having nothing, yet possessing everything." They way we respond to suffering and trials can cause the glory of the gospel to shine forth, or defame God's name. And, then it all came to be a little more clear in my mind.

God is giving us this season of life, which is a hardship for us (though I must add that He has been FAITHFUL to provide everything we have needed in his kindness), to make His name great. We get an opportunity to trust Him, to look to Him, to point to His goodness in providing our needs, to let patience have it's perfect work in our lives, to make His name great! I want to live in comfort, I admit. I want to live as a civilian, because being a soldier is hard. Yet, that is not what God has called us to. He is showing me this, and this is a work in progress. I get it, but I don't get it. I understand, but am I living it? Will you help me? Will you spur me on when I forget and get lured by the pretty things of this world? I don't know if I can do this alone. Can I spur you on or does this hurt too much? It hurts me just thinking about it. It hurts because I haven't always lived this way. It hurts because I know it will hurt. But, I want more than this life has to offer. I want to keep an eternal perspective. This world is not my home.

The following was copied from Desiring God. You can click on the link in the question below to find the original post and the audio for it.

"What's the difference between living for the Kingdom and living for the American dream?

The essential difference is, What are you trying to make much of? Do you want to make much of Christ in the world, or do you want to make much of yourself, your business, or your family? What are you passionate about seeing exalted, praised and enjoyed?

I want to put that central because if we don't ask the question day by day–What am I going to make much of today?–then we will gravitate towards making much of the same things that everybody around us is making much of, like sports teams, food, or a new computer program. None of these things are sin unless they become the thing that we're driven by.

The difference between a Kingdom mindset and a worldly mindset is the King. What place does the King have? Is he central in our affections, our vocabulary, and in what we want to see happen at work, church, and in our leisure?

Does the "wartime lifestyle" come easily to you?

No, and I don't think it comes easy for anybody. If it starts coming easily then it may result in pride. That may not always be the case, because the things we work hard at are sometimes the things we boast in the most. Pride is a very insidious and subtle thing.

When I say "wartime lifestyle" I mean something very complex. That's why I say "wartime" and not "simple" lifestyle because of this complexity. In wartime you may need to build a B-52 bomber, which costs millions and millions of dollars, in order to win the war. In a simple lifestyle, however, you wouldn't fiddle around with bombers. Instead you would just move out to Idaho, plant potatoes, and be irrelevant.

In a wartime lifestyle you always ask yourself, How can my life count to advance the cause of Christ? And if it means buying a computer to keep in touch with your missionaries through email, then you're going to invest several thousand dollars into a computer and software. That's a wartime lifestyle. But you might not eat out as often, or you might buy a used car so that you can buy that computer. That's what I mean by wartime lifestyle. The alternative is to just go with the flow. Everybody gets his toys: bigger house and car, more clothing, more fine food, etc., without even thinking about how the war effort is advancing.

Personally, I must battle everyday against drifting. It isn't about making choices so much. The battle is primarily against becoming comfortable with things that aren't essential to the war effort. So you have to check yourself. Sit down with your wife and ask, How are we doing with our spending? How are we doing with the use of our discretionary money for leisure?, etc.

I admit that this is difficult. I don't have any laws to lay down about what specific things you should be doing either once a week or never or whatever. It's just tough, which is why it is tough for me.

How does what you're saying accord with the prosperity gospel–the belief that external signs of wealth are a key testimony to the world of God's blessing?

It doesn't accord. We must reject the prosperity gospel. It's just dead wrong. The world is not impressed by the prosperity of Christians. What the prosperity of Christians says to the world is nothing redemptive.

I'm not saying that all prosperity is necessarily wrong. I'm just making the point that the prosperity of a Christian says absolutely zero about Christ to the world. Christians who simply follow the American trend of "moving up" financially and materially causes the world to simply say, "They're just like us! They love the same things we love and do the same things we do." This has zero witness to the world.

The person who follows the prosperity track must find other ways to testify to the world about Jesus, because their wealth, health, and prosperity are not saying anything redemptive.

My way of remedying this lack of witness is to identify that the prosperity gospel is wrong. Don't go that direction! Don't believe that prosperity is our evidence to the world that we belong to the King. It doesn't work that way. In fact, if you look in the New Testament you'll see that the things that bear the clearest witness to our faith are the occasions when we're willing to suffer for him.

A little child can understand that. Something is valuable to you to the degree that you're willing to suffer in order to have it, not to the degree that it gives you other things that you really like. God is not shown to be valuable because he gives us other things that we like more than God. God is shown to be valuable when we're willing, for God's sake, to let certain things go which we wouldn't let go if he wasn't so precious to us.

Our testimony to the world works precisely opposite to what the prosperity gospel says. When Christians are willing to suffer for the cause of the unborn, for racial justice, and for spreading the gospel, then the world is going to say–just like it does in 1 Peter 3:15–"Where is your hope?"

Our answer will not be, "In houses, cars, and lands." Rather, we will say, "My hope is in the Lord Jesus Christ, who is going to take me to himself. To live is Christ and to die is gain. I'm here on earth to spread the gospel. I'm going to keep my life as wartime as I can in order to maximize my effect for showing Jesus as valuable, not things as valuable."

Everday is Halloween..the masks we wear

2011-03-10T08:58:00.002-05:00

"..Low self-esteem usually means that I think too highly of myself. I'm too self-involved, I feel I deserve better than what I have. The reason I feel bad about myself is that I aspire to something more. I want just a few minutes of greatness. I am a peasant who wants to be a king. When you are in the grips of low self-esteem, it's painful, and it certainly doesn't feel like pride. But, I believe that this is the dark, quieter side of pride-thwarted pride.

Our hearts are certainly busy while we hide and spy.

Have you wondered why certain TV shows or magazines are so popular? Don't they offer us a brief opportunity to spy on others from behind our walls of shame? They let us see the disgrace of others, and it normalizes our own. Or they let us identify with our heroes, so we can briefly feel better about ourselves.

Is is as if the modern person is a peeping Tom. While the peeping Tom is looking at someone through a keyhole, he is also being watched by another voyeur, who is being watched by another, who is being watched by another....

..Everyday is Halloween. Putting on our masks is a regular part of our morning ritual, just like brushing our teeth and eating breakfast. The masquerade, however, is anything but festive. Underneath the masks are people who are terrified that there will be an unveiling. And, indeed, the masks and other coverings will one day be removed. There will be an eternal unveiling. But it is not so much the eyes of other people we ought to fear. After all, other people are no different from ourselves...If the gaze of man awakens fear in us, how much more so the gaze of God. If we feel exposed by people, we will feel devastated before God.

To even think such things is too overwhelming. Our hearts tremble at the thought, and we do everything we can to avoid it. One way to avoid God's eyes is to live as if fear of other people is our deepest problem-they are big, not God. This, of course, is not the case. Fear of people is often a more conscious version of being afraid of God. That is, we are more conscious of our fear of others than our fear of God. Granted, fear of others is a real phenomenon. We really are afraid of the thoughts, opinons, and actions of other people. But, under that we hide as best as we can the more desperate fear of God...When Christ returns, those who are naked will prefer being covered by the boulders of Jerusalem's mountains to being exposed before the holy gaze of God." (Ed Welch, When People Are Big, and God is small)

Saturdays are for Silliness!

2011-02-19T10:53:00.002-05:00

Silly Kids!

2011-02-05T19:51:00.001-05:00

I have the silliest kids! Sometimes I just like to break out the camera and catch their silliness...which I think sometimes brings out MORE silliness! These are from December 2010.

Great Deal Today Only

2011-01-19T09:08:00.002-05:00

Hey, ladies! I just got a great deal on Living Social. It's a $20 Amazon gift card for only $10. I don't know about you, but we buy often from Amazon..books, cookware, cookbooks, and I often get natural or organic groceries (flours, snacks, baking products) from Amazon. I was excited about this deal, and wanted to share! Here's the link.

God's Faithfulness in My Failures...Just bein' real

2011-01-16T16:34:00.005-05:00

So, just a few minutes ago when I was writing that last post, my children started behaving child-like. How dare them! How dare them interrupt me when I am writing a blog post for the women of the world (or the 3 ladies who read my blog!). I mean, come on, I'm writing a post on deep freezers..obviously important stuff. I know you all agree with me and feel sorry for me and completely understand that I did not stop to parent them, but instead yelled at them to please stop so that I could have a few moments of peace! Right...you understand, don't you? Well, you might understand..though I doubt you agree with my actions, and God loves me too much to let me get away with it. So much so, that right afterwards, I checked my husbands' facebook page, and this article was his recent post (before I yelled, mind you...he knows what I need ahead of time, I guess! ha! ). Read article here. Ugh! Hit me right where it hurt..and it needed to.

I DO this. I AM this person. How many times a day do I feel like these little people are interrupting my life? How many times do I just yell and go off on them for daring to break the peace in the home (or even in my head) vs. taking a moment to parent them as God would have me. I needed to read this..for today and for every day. I do realize, in many of those moments, why I'm feeling like I'm feeling and I realize it's wrong. I thank God for his grace to remind me and not leave me stuck...or rather, not leave my kids stuck with a self-centered mom! Just bein' real here, ladies. Either you can relate, or you can't. Anyhow, it's an issue for me. And, I pray God will truly change me in this area.

Here's a small excerpt from the end of this article:

"... But my problem is that there are moments when I tend to love my little kingdom of one more than I love his. So I’m impatient, discouraged, or irritated not because my children have broken the laws of God’s kingdom, but the laws of mine. In my kingdom there shall be no parenting on family vacation days, or when I am reading the paper on my iPad, or after ten o’clock at night, or during a good meal, or . . . I could go on. And when I’m angry about interruptions to my kingdom plan, there are four things I tend to do.

1. I tend to turn a God-given moment of ministry into a moment of anger.

2. I do this because I have personalized what is not personal. (Before we left for the amusement park that day, my children didn’t plot to drive me crazy in the parking lot.)

3. Because I have personalized what is not personal, I am adversarial in my response. (It’s not me acting for my children, but acting against them because they are in the way of what I want.)

4. So I end up settling for situational solutions that don’t really get to the heart of the matter. (I bark and order, I instill guilt, I threaten a punishment and walk away, and my children are utterly unchanged by the encounter.)

There is a better way. It begins with praying that God would give you new eyes; eyes that are more focused on his eternal work of grace than on your momentary plans for you. This better way also includes seeking God for a flexible and willing heart, ready to abandon your agenda for God’s greater plan. And it lives with the confidence that God is in you, with you, and for you and will give you what you need so that you can face, with courage and grace, the parenting moment that you didn’t know was coming." (Paul Tripp)

Organizing my deep freezer

2011-01-16T16:11:00.004-05:00

Photo found here at the Lowe's website.

Okay, so we brought back our deep freezer from Kentucky, and I'm SOOO happy! However, digging stuff out of there is starting to drive me crazy. First off, it feels like -30 degrees in our garage, and standing there lifting things out of the deep freezer to find things in the bottom gets cold fast! :) Secondly, I just feel like things are thrown here and there. Even when I try to organize, like meats in this section, homemade stock in this section, etc..the sections get blurry quickly! I found a great article some time back on organizing an upright freezer, but I never could figure out how to organize a deep freezer. So, I thought I'd google it today. Not sure why today...not like I'm gonna get out there in these temperatures and organize it, but I'm thinking ahead! :)

So, here's a few ideas I ran across. I LOVE these baskets...didn't even know they made them! However, I'm not sure how many I can afford at almost $12 each! So, I'll put that on my "garage sale list" for the spring/summer. But, for now, I ran across this post, where she uses cardboard boxes! While not as pretty, it is definitely an option for now. I like this idea because 1) it's free!, 2) it will get me by until I can come up with a prettier solution...though, who knows why it has to be pretty? :) I may end up finding I like it just fine. I have inventoried my deep freezer over the years many times with a list and that's just a lot of work to constantly keep up with..for my brain, at least. So, if and when I decide to go forward with this plan, I'll try to remember to post before/after pictures! Anyone else have any other ideas?

My Walgreen's Trip 1/16/11

2011-01-16T15:25:00.004-05:00

photo © kari mcgrath 2010

I haven't been doing well the past couple months with couponing, because I kept forgetting to get the Sunday paper, then there were the holidays, etc... I finally got my coupon binder cleaned out yesterday and re-organized. I have kept to my grocery cash budget, for the most part, except a few times around the holidays. So, I was looking forward to going out today to get back in the swing of things. I also re-worked our budget last night and plan to TRY to cut down our grocery budget even more starting next paycheck. Right now, I spend $100/week for our family of five (on food), and I'm going to try to get it down to $75/week. It's hard when we like to eat healthy 80% of the time, but I've pretty much got things worked out now where I think I'll be able to do it...just cut out some of the extras I allow us from time to time and simplify again a bit. It'll be a good challenge for me.

So, here's my Walgreen's breakdown for today:

1 Sunday newspaper @ $1.75

2 boxes Kellog's Fruit Loops on sale for 1.99 each
-I had a coupon for $1.50 off 2
-final cost: $1.24 each

**no, these are not part of our "healthy eating", however they do fill the kids' tummies on the mornings we have to run somewhere or I'm too tired (or lazy) to cook

2 boxes Kellog's Raisin Bran Crunch $4.99 each
**These were advertised (on the shelf sticker) for 2/$5 with a $2 Register Rewards, however, they rang up as $4.99 each. Seems the sticker was left from last week on accident, however they gave me the cereal at 2/$3, which was the advertised price on the shelf sticker. Thank you, Walgreens!

-I used (2) $0.70 coupons
-final cost: $0.80 each

2 bottles pepper on clearance for $0.59 each

1 Tom's of Maine toothpaste $3.99
-$3 Register Rewards
-Final cost: $0.99

1 Kotex maxi pads, 2 (18 count) Kotex tampons on sale 3/$9
-I used a $2/2 coupon
-It produced a $3 Register Reward
-Final cost: $1.33 each

1 Trial Size Thermacare hot pack sale price $2.50
-Produced a $2.50 Register Reward
-I used a $1 coupon
Final Cost: FREE plus $1 money maker!!!

1 (12 roll) Charmin Basic $2.99

Final Cost for all 13 items: $15.15

Original price on the 13 items: $51.64

Total savings: 70%!!!

Gifts from the Heart

2011-01-11T19:53:00.003-05:00

Every year for Christmas, my daddy makes some special gift for all of us. One year it was birdhouses, one year walking sticks...but every year, it's something I look forward to. These gifts require his time and he thinks of each one of us and our personalities. Mom does this often, too. Last year, she made me this amazing rug which I only recently got, b/c it took so much time to finish! I really treasure these handmade gifts, because they are unique. And, love goes into them. This year dad made us all pens. I use mine every day to write in my journal. I'm so blessed to have parents who "raised us right", who were great examples, who we always knew loved us. These pens are just a small thing, but a treasure to me.

Shane's pen is made from deer antlers.

My pen is made from wood taken from Cedarmore, the camp Shane and I lived at for 4 years.

Snow, glorious snow!!!

2011-01-11T19:31:00.004-05:00

So, God finally heard my prayers for more snow! Here we move back to Indiana-and Northern Indiana at that-and there just hasn't been much. I know some of you would rather I have not prayed this prayer, and really-I shan't take the blame or praise for it (since I cannot make the snow personally). But, I am SOOO happy with this beautiful, white powder falling from the sky. Big reminder here: I love snow from the INSIDE looking out! I like to look out my window, with a cup of hot coffee in hand, and comfy fleece pants on. I don't like to be out in it. :) However, I went out for a few minutes with my camera today...just couldn't resist. Enjoy! And, if you don't like snow, just don't let me know..I don't wanna hear it! :)

(all photos © Kari McGrath 2011)

What's for Breakfast?

2011-01-08T09:18:00.004-05:00

(didn't take a picture of the scones, so I was browsing my old photos and thought this one was appropriate for the title!ha!)

Yesterday I made THESE cinnamon breakfast scones. I made them with gluten-free flour and had to add about 1/4 cup cream to the mixture (b/c I was out of milk, and cream just makes anything better anyways!) b/c gf flour absorbs more liquid. They turned out amazing...soft and tender. MMM... This morning I'm having a leftover scone. Pair that with coffee...nothing better on a snowy day! :)

Photography Blog

2011-01-08T09:14:00.002-05:00

I honestly haven't done alot with my photography since we moved to Indiana, and in a way it's been nice to take a break. However, I have done a couple shoots and have put them up on my photography blog. Be sure to check them out. And, I'm hoping to finish some personal projects and put those up, too, in the near future..when I have the time. :)

Weigh-in Friday

2011-01-07T08:59:00.005-05:00

Okay....drumroll, please....this week I lost 1.8 pounds! (note the ticker going down at the bottom of the page!) :) It's a start.

My Chains are Gone

2011-01-06T16:15:00.004-05:00

photo © kari mcgrath 2009

"One day as I was passing into the field...this sentence fell upon my soul. Thy righteousness is in heaven. And, methought, withal, I saw with the eyes of my soul Jesus Christ at God's right hand; there, I say, was my righteousness; so that wherever I was, or whatever I was doing, God could not say of me, he [lacks] my righteousness, for that was just before him. I also saw, moreover, that it was not my good frame of heart that made my righteousness better, nor yet my bad frame that made my righteousness worse, for my righteousness was Jesus Christ himself, 'The same yesterday, today, and forever.' Hebrews 13:8. Now did my chains fall off my legs indeed. I was loosed from any afflictions and irons...Now went I also home rejoicing for the grace and love of God."

John Bunyan, Grace Abounding, p. 59

Weight Loss

2011-01-06T14:24:00.005-05:00

Okay, so I'm not going to be linking this post up on facebook for the world to see, but I will share with you, my few readers! :) I've debated whether to do this or not, but it will be good accountability for me. Ugh..my struggle with weight loss! It has been a struggle for me for my whole adult life, basically. Well, back when I was..not thin, but just about right for me..I didn't know it, but since the babies came, it's been a roller coaster for me.

The past few years, I've tried this and that. I tried adding more coconut oil to my diet, which plumped me up more! I tried eating only whole foods, which did the same! I knew enough by then, from reading alot, that I didn't want to do low-fat, sugar free diets anymore. But, I just haven't been able to hold myself accountable, I suppose. (though I hate to admit it)

I have joined Weight Watchers 3 times in the past. (I should be put in "the box of shame", for those of you who saw Despicable Me!) First time I lost 23 pounds, second time ?, third time about 12 or so. Every time I thought I was smart enough to go home and do it on my own. Guess not! The past few years, I've avoided joining again..one, because I was still sure I could do it on my own, two-because I wasn't looking forward to nights of hunger. :) Plus, I always lost weight on eating 100 calorie twinkies and york peppermint patties and diet soda. But, I can't say I felt better physically, health-wise. That was my own fault, but it was what it was nonetheless.

Anyhow, whenever Shane saw me struggling with one plan or another, he'd say "you know honey, the only thing that's ever worked for you is Weight Watchers." After two years, I decided I was out of other options. :) So, Merry Christmas to me, I joined WW online. (because it's cheaper) This time, however, I have been determined to do it eating regular foods (focusing on whole foods as much as I can..or want to). I am determined not to eat low-calorie, nutrient lacking foods, just eat less of what I normally cook or ingest. Anyhow, the whole WW program has been re-vamped anyhow, and it's alot easier now to do for some reason. (I think the fact that fruits are free helps me alot!) I don't feel deprived at night anymore. (maybe b/c I'm making better choices with more satiating foods..and being gluten free knocks out my "100 calorie twinkie options anyhow!) :)

So, I invite you to join me on my journey or help me (push me) along the way. :) I joined a few weeks before Christmas, lost 1.8 lbs, then gained it back over Christmas/New Years! Tomorrow is my weigh in for this week. I have hope I have lost something. WW wants me to lose 40 pounds. Ugh. That number just kills me and feels so far off, it almost seems impossible. Let's just say, I haven't weighed that number since I was 20! But, I know I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I feel okay, not great, but okay with where I am right now. (usually) I realize now that I will not be a super model when this is all over. I still may not like my thighs or hind end or feel "skinny." However, I want to be healthy for my family, and stop this before it gets farther than it's already gone.

Okay, that's my story. I amost don't even want to post this. But, what do I have to hide? So, here I am laid bare (well, you know what I mean). There's a new weight loss ticker at the bottom of my page. I'll try to keep it updated and keep you all updated. Appreciate your prayers. I know some of you share this struggle, some of you don't (I still love you). But, I think this will be good accountability for me.

What's for Dinner?

2011-01-05T17:13:00.002-05:00

(picture courtesy Nourished Kitchen, one of my favorite Foodie blogs)

So, what's for dinner over at your house tonight? At ours, it's Cottage Pie with Mashed Yams (recipe here) and broccoli. This is a YUMMY dish I've made before. I can't wait to dig in! :)

Just me and my boy in the sunshine!

2011-01-05T14:39:00.005-05:00

I get MANY, MANY pictures each day drawn just for me! For Christmas, my parents and sister got my son TWO whole reams of white computer paper all for himself..and believe me, I feel like all I do is pick up white paper all over the house these days. :) While I hate to admit that many of these end up in the trash can..come on, I cannot possibly keep them all AND my sanity...once in a while, one will just melt my heart. This was one. :) I am so blessed that I am so admired that some one would want to draw picures of me all day long, besides the fact that I look so tall and thin. hee,hee...

Happiness?

2010-12-31T09:02:00.003-05:00

photo © kari mcgrath 2008

I have been re-reading what I consider to be one of the best books I have ever read...Spiritual Depression by D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones. This book is a collection of sermons he preached on consecutive Sunday mornings at Westminster Chapel in London, where he was preacher. He was also a medical doctor. D Martyn Lloyd-Jones retired from Westminster Chapel in 1968 and died in 1981.

I have not been reading through it chapter by chapter this time, but rather just referencing it at various chapters. These sermons cover such topics (dealing with depression) as temperaments, feelings, false teaching, being weary in well doing, dwelling on the past or the future, chastening of the Lord, trials, contentment and everything in between. He goes over reasons a Christian may be spiritually depressed and then gives you ways to deal with that particular area of struggle. It always culminates in preaching the gospel to yourself, rather than listening to yourself. I highly recommend this book to anyone, whether you struggle with depression or not. My temperament is such that I do struggle off and on with mild depression. I am very introspective. It's been a great help to me at various times in my life and one I'm sure I will reference for the rest of my days.

This morning I read the chapter on "Feelings." I leave you with these last few paragraphs from this chapter:

"...If you want to be truly happy and blessed, if you would like to know true joy as a Christian, here is the prescription-'Blessed (truly happy) are they who do hunger and thirst after righteousness'--not after happiness. Do not go on seeking thrills; seek righteousness. Turn to yourself, turn to your feelings and say: 'I have no time to worry about feelings, I am interested in something else. I want to be happy but still more I want to be righteous, I want to be holy. I want to be like my Lord, I want to live in this world as he lived, I want to walk through it as He walked through it.' You are in this world, says John in his first Epistle, even as He was. Set your whole aim upon righteousness and holiness and as certainly as you do so you will be blessed, you will be filled, you will get the happiness you long for. Seek for happiness and you will never find it, seek righteousness and you will discover that you are happy--it will be there without your knowing it, without your seeking it.

Finally, let me put it this way: 'Do you want to know supreme joy, do you want to experience a happiness that eludes description? There is only one thing to do, really seek Him, seek Him Himself, turn to the Lord Jesus Christ Himself. If you find that your feelings are depressed do not sit down and commiserate with yourself, do not try to work something up but-this is the simple essence of it-go directly to Him and seek His face, as the little child who is miserable and unhappy because somebody else has broken his toy, runs to its father or its mother.

So, if you and I find ourselves afflicted by this condition, there is only one thing to do, it is to go to Him. If you seek the Lord Jesus Christ and find Him there is no need to worry about your happiness and your joy. He is our joy and our happiness, even as He is our peace. He is life, He is everything. So avoid the incitements and the temptations of Satan to give feelings this great prominence at the centre. Put at the centre the only One who has a right to be there, the Lord of Glory, Who so loved you tat He went to the cross and bore the punishment and the shame of your sins and died for you. Seek Him, seek His face, and all other things shall be added unto you."

(p. 117-118, Spiritual Depression, D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones)

Suffering as a Christian

2010-12-30T12:20:00.002-05:00

photo © kari mcgrath 2008

"..It was no exaggeration when [John] Bunyan wrote, 'Our days have been days of trouble, especially since the discovery of the Popish plot, for then we began to fear cutting of throats, of being burned in our beds, and of seeing our children dashed in pieces before our faces.'

What, then, would he say to his people to prepare them for the probability of their suffering for Christ? Would he say, with the old-fashioned liberal, 'I believe that pain and suffering are never the will of God for his children?' Would he say with the modern day open theist, 'Christians frequently speak about 'the purpose of God' in the midst of a tragedy caused by someone else...But this I regard to simply be a piously confused way of thinking?' No, this would have been biblically and pastorally unthinkable for John Bunyan, whose blood was 'bibline.'

He takes his text from 1 Peter 4:19, 'Wherefore let them that suffer according to the will of God commit the keeping of their soul to him in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator.' Then he explains the text with these observations:

It is not what enemies will, not what they are resolved upon, but what God
wil, and what God appoints, that shall be done...And as no enemy can bring
suffering upon a man when the will of God is otherwise, so no man can save
himself out of their hands when God will deliver him up for his glory...We shall
or shall not suffer, even as it pleaseth him...God has appointed who shall
suffer. Suffering comes not by chance or by the will of man, but by the will and
appointment of God.' "

(from The Hidden Smile of God, John Piper)

Merry Christmas!!

2010-12-25T08:32:00.002-05:00

"...Oh, how surprised angels were, when they were first informed that Jesus Christ, the prince of Light and Majesty, intended to shroud himself in clay and become a babe, and live and die! We know not how it was first mentioned to the angels, but when the rumor first began to get afloat among the sacred hosts, you may imagine what strange wonderment there was. What! was it true that he whose crown was all bedight with stars, would lay that crown aside? What! was it certain that he about whose shoulders was cast the purple of the universe, would become a man dressed in a peasant's garment? Could it be true that he who was everlasting and immortal would one day be nailed to a cross? Oh! how their wonderment increased! They desired to look into it. And when he descended from on high, they followed him; for Jesus was 'seen of angels', and seen in a special sense, for they looked upon him in rapturous amazement, wondering what it all could mean. 'He for our sakes became poor.' Do you see him as on that day of heaven's eclipse he did ungird his majesty? Oh, can ye conceive the yet increasing wonder of the heavenly hosts when the deed was actually done, when they saw the tiara taken off, when they saw him unbind his girdle of stars, and cast away his sandals of gold? Can ye conceive it, when he said to them, 'I do not disdain the womb of the virgin; I am going down to earth to become a man?' Can you picture them as they declared they would follow him! Yes, they followed him as near as the world would permit them. And when they came to earth they began to sing, 'Glory to God in the highest, on earth peace, good will toward men.' Nor would they go away till they had made the shepherds wonder, and till heaven had hung out new stars in honor of the new-born King. And now wonder, ye angels, the Infinite has become and infant; he, upon whose shoulders the universe doth hang, hangs at his mother's breast; he who created all things, and bears up the pillars of creation, hath now become so weak that he must be carried by a woman! And oh wonder, ye that knew him in his riches, whilst ye admire his poverty! Where sleeps the newborn King? Had he the best room in Caesar's palace? hath a cradle of gold been prepared for him, and pillows of down, on which to rest his head? No, where the ox fed, in the dilapidated stable, in the manger, there the Savior lies, swathed in the swaddling bands of the children of poverty!....

...Oh, Son of Man, I know not which to admire most, thine height of glory, or the depths of thy misery! Oh, Man, slain for us, shall we not exalt thee? God over all, blessed for ever, shall we not give thee the loudest song? 'He was rich, yet for our sakes, he became poor.' If I had a tale to tell you this day, of some king, who, out of love to some fair maiden, left his kingdom and became a peasant like herself, ye would stand and wonder, and would listen to the charming tale; but when I tell of God concealing his dignity to become our Savior, our hearts are scarcely touched. Ah, my friends, we know the tale so well, we have heard it so many times; and, alas, some of us tell it so badly that we cannot expect that you would be as interested in it as the subject doth demand. But, surely, as it is said of some great works of architecture, that though they be seen every morning, there is always something fresh to wonder at; so we may say of Christ, that though we saw him every day, we should always see fresh reason to love and wonder and adore.."

(C.H.Spurgeon, "The Condescension of Christ", Spurgeon's Sermons)

Saving Money with After Christmas Sales

2010-12-21T11:16:00.004-05:00

Good article HERE! Of course, I'd have to add that the best way to save after Christmas is to stay at home! :)

A Few of My Favorite Things....

2010-12-18T19:43:00.003-05:00

Recently, Shane asked that we turn the TV off Monday-Wednesday nights, when the kids go to bed, so that we can just read.

It's gotten us both back into reading more, and I will tell you..it is something I look forward to lately. When the days are long, and I'm tired, I know respite is coming!

The kids go to bed, the Christmas tree lights are on, with light music playing in the background, drinking hot tea, and reading on the couch with the man who thrills my heart....it's become one of my favorite things.

A Few of My Favorite Things....

2010-12-17T21:33:00.001-05:00

One of my favorite things...my boy in his favorite blue and yellow striped pajamas. :)

(sigh...can I just keep him like this?)

Merry Christmas week (almost!)

2010-12-17T21:11:00.009-05:00

Wow! Christmas is next week! How did this happen? This Christmas season has FLOWN for me! Sorry I haven't written in awhile. It's been busy around here, and at times in the past few weeks, my mind has been distracted.

We still haven't sold our house in Kentucky. I realize this is God's will for us, and we continue to trust our God, that He has a greater purpose for us in NOT selling it at this time. This causes us more and more to rely on Him and humble ourselves before Him. He is in control. We trust that. At the same time, we are weak and frail and struggle through it, reminding ourselves daily of who He is and that He changes not. However, He has given us peace and we know He has good in all of this for us. I'll keep you updated!

This has been a simple Christmas season. And, I'm thankful for that. We haven't been bombarded with 'hustle and bustle.' It's a simple "giving" Christmas..which means, we're not giving alot to our kids and family! :) But, we realize this is good for them. :) So, I really haven't been running here and there buying. So, I guess that's kept it low-key.

We had a some sweet new friends here loan us one of their Christmas trees. Shane brought back four Christmas totes from Kentucky last time he went as a surprise to me. :) He just kind of randomly grabbed a few and made sure to get the ones with our stockings (the only thing I asked him to bring back). He surprised me with our manger, however he left "baby Jesus and His family" back in Kentucky! :) ha!

We decided just to put up some white lights on the tree, a fabric garland I made years ago in California (when we had no decorations!), and make paper snowflakes to keep it simple. I found some green burlap I had bought last year and used as a table runner and used that as our tree skirt. However, I think it's one of my favorite trees we've had. :) Simple is good. I guess it just felt "homey" to me, somehow. With all the snow coming down in Northern Indiana, it's been a very comfy Christmas. We are home. We have each other. We have Christ. I couldn't ask for more.

1000 Gifts (166+)....

2010-12-04T20:23:00.002-05:00

166. not one, but FOUR free Colts (vs. Dallas) tickets. Hubby gets to take the kids. They'll never forget that. Thank you to my Lord and our very giving, kind new friends.

167. patient, gentle husband, who leads me in the ways of the Lord

168. that the dark days are gone and for now I see light

169. snow, glorious snow!

170. a great 24 hours with our dear friends, Jacob and Jama, and sweet boy, Isaac

171. that God is bigger than my pride or jealousy or discontentment

172. a pantry and fridge/freezer full of food

173. that all of our NEEDS are met

174. a free (to borrow) Christmas tree, that fits our living room just perfect! Thank you, J.H.!!

175. for paper snowflakes

176. salvage grocery store...helping me save lots

177. christmas movies

178. knowing you're not alone when you struggle

179. that God knows the plans He has, and His ways are not our ways, so even when we don't understand, we can TRUST

180. the Jesse Tree Advent, reminding me of the whole story

181. that He chose me before the world was formed, in spite of who He knew I was

182. for family...ones that are close, ones that are not-so-close right now (emotionally, physically)..we are thankful for all of them, and love them all dearly, and pray for them all

183. the anticipation of Christmas morning

184. children...I realize that any holiday wouldn't be as fun without them

185. restoration

186. little boy cheek to rest my cheek on...ahhh

187. church is tomorrow

188. freedom from the need to overspend this Christmas season

189. homemade deep dish pizza that hubby loves...I love making him happy

190. clothes on my laundry room floor..means we have more than enough

191. a clean kitchen (thank you sweet hubby)

192. good books

193. my new ESV study bible..thank you honey, merry christmas to me!

194. the freedom to homeschool my children..even when it's hard..especially when it's hard, because it pushes me to grow past my impatience and selfishness

195. encouragement

The Gospel and my relationships

2010-11-30T11:41:00.003-05:00

"By preaching the gospel to myself each day, I nurture the bond that unites me with my brothers and sisters for whom Christ died, and I also keep myself well-versed in the raw materials with which I may actively love them in Christ."

(Milton Vincent, A Gospel Primer for Christians)

The Gospel and my sanctification

2010-11-30T11:35:00.002-05:00

"..Hence, it could be said that 'sanctification' is merely the lifelong process wherein I joyfully surrender myself to God's imputed righteousness and then do whatever this righteousness directs me to do. Indeed, God has clothed me with his righteousness. Now He wants this righteousness to master me. "

(Milton Vincent, A Gospel Primer for Christians)

The Gospel..not just for new Christians

2010-11-29T13:13:00.003-05:00

photo © kari mcgrath photography 2009

"...On my worst days of sin and failure, the gospel encourages me with God's unrelenting grace toward me. On my best days of victory and usefulness, the gospel keeps me relating to God solely on the basis of Jesus' righteousness and not mine."

(Milton Vincent, A Gospel Primer for Christians:Learning to see the glories of God's love)

We are Rich!

2010-11-29T11:09:00.004-05:00

Shane sent me an email today with the subject of "We are rich!", then it had this article below linked to it. See, Shane and I both have really been struggling lately. Yes, we live in a lovely furnished lakehouse in a darling town, and are part of an amazing church. But, our house in Kentucky still hasn't sold yet! (don't you feel sorry for us?) We know God's word, we know we are blessed, we know we have it good, but still we worry and struggle. Yes, there are legitimate reasons for us to struggle, and I'm not undermining those, but in the light of human suffering and the situations many people find themselves in today, we are by no means "suffering."

Yesterday at church, Marc reminded us (me...he was talking to me, I know it!) that not only could things be worse, but things should be worse! So, maybe you're thinking he doesn't quite have the gift of encouragement?! But, just the opposite, it IS encouraging. What do I really deserve, in light of the gospel? I DESERVE hell, judgement, condemnation. But, God's grace came and because of what Jesus Christ did, I have so much more than I deserve. THAT is truth. And, further, I KNOW (not always feel) that God has a greater purpose in our home not selling right now. What is that purpose? I don't know, but I suppose it could be: to keep hammering into our stubborn heads that this world is not our home, to keep us humble, to keep us relying on him for our needs. I remember a quote from CS Lewis, that goes something along the lines of: God allows us little glimpses in this life of what is to come...like sunsets, holding hands with a lover, walks in the woods...but He never allows us to get too comfortable, lest we forget that this world is not our home. I think of that quote (or at least my paraphrase) often. He doesn't want me to get too comfortable. And, I like to be comfortable. One of us is going to win...and I fully expect it won't be me! :)

Anyhow, here's an excerpt of that article Shane sent me, with a link to the full article. Be challenged, be convicted, be reminded of God's grace in your own life, and then go bless others.

"Have you ever thought about why you were born into your particular
circumstances? If you are reading this blog entry you are most likely a
Christian whose life has been purchased by the precious blood of Jesus Christ.
You are also likely relatively wealthy, at least compared to most people living
in the world. If you have the ability to eat three times per day and have
shelter over your head, you are better off than many people in the world. If you
earn $25,000 per year, you are the richest 10% of the world. You are rich. In
fact if you earn $2,200 per year you are the richest 15% of the world. If you
reading this you are literate and likely had several years of education. If so
you have received more education than hundreds of millions of people around the
world...

...You could have been born as an impoverished child in an unreached nation. Perhaps as a girl born into a Muslim family where you would be forbidden to show anything beyond what can be seen through the eye slits of your veil and could be beaten if you disobeyed even the simplest command of your father. You could have been born in a remote village in Vietnam with little food or education and no opportunity to hear the Gospel of Jesus Christ. You could have been born as a girl in Africa who will eventually be sold by your parents into sexual slavery. That could have been you.

But it's not you. Instead you were born into privileged circumstances. Blessed physically, educationally, financially, and spiritually. Why? Only by the grace of God. What is our response then to such blessing and grace?

Certainly God calls us to be thankful. But too few of us are. We take for granted the blessings that we have received from God. Instead of thanksgiving for what we have received, we complain about and lust after the things that we don't have. We covet what our neighbors have. We idolize material things. We are surrounded by clear,
tangible, practical blessings from God that should be so easily recognized and
enjoyed. But our eyes and hearts are too often and too easily diverted toward
what we don't have by the power and persuasion of advertising and social
pressure. Lord, forgive us for our lack of thanksgiving!..."
read whole article here

Silhouettes

2010-11-26T09:40:00.001-05:00

I found this link and I LOVE this idea! Wouldn't this make a great gift for the grandparents?

Ode to Walgreens!

2010-11-25T21:35:00.004-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving, first off! We had a lovely day. Went to Indy and had a fabulous lunch at my uncle and aunt's place, with my parents, sister, cousin and her family, grandma, and the biggest surprise of the day...my brother and his wife and two boys came up from Kentucky! I didn't know til I got there! Haven't seen them in over a year, and it was nine? years before that since I'd seen him. So, it was a lovely day, and I am SO thankful for a wonderful family and good food and a God who loves me and POURS His grace on me daily!

Tonight I decided to head to Walgreens..one, because I LOVE the store and two, because I didn't want to have to fight the crowds tomorrow since their deals started today. I figured it was easier for me to go out tonight while I was dresssed, then get up-on a day off and get ready and get out at a good time! :) Good thing, b/c at least one thing I wanted was already out! Had to share my newest Walgreen's success story again. (sorry, no picture of my deals this time...too lazy!) :)

First transaction:

Covergirl mascara

Gillette Venus Razor

Secret Deodorant

Revlon Lipgloss

Gum Floss Picks

Dial Men's Body Wash

Oral B Indicator Toothbrush

Secret Body Spray

Olay body wash w/creme

Crest 3D whitening toothpaste

Colgate total toothpaste

Fiber Choice tablets

Gilette men's moisturizer

Advil PM caplets (4 count)

2 liter Dr. Pepper

Herbal Essence shampoo

Scunci rubber bands

Nivea Shave gel (men's)

_________________

Total before sales/coupons: $85.56

Total after coupons/sales: $53.78

Total Spent on above items: $5.00

*Considering tax alone on the items above was $4.24, I'm thrilled!!! :)

Transaction #2:

Viva cloth-like paper towels 6 count

Sylvania 10 cup coffee maker

Prarie Farms 2% milk-gallon

Planters Cashews 9.75oz

Puzzle book (stocking stuffer)

(3) boxes M&Ms (theater size)

(2) Coffee Mate coffee creamers-liquid

(2) 50 0z. Arm & Hammer Laundry Dtgnt.

Pkg. of 3 rolls Scotch tape

(4) pkgs. AA batteries (walgreen's brand-4 ea. pkg)

____________________

Total before coupons/sales: $74.05

Total after coupons/sales: $36.09

Out of Pocket: $2.11 (basically for taxes)

Plus, I got two rebates printed out for $6.50

***So, at the end of the day, I spent a total of $34.59 out of pocket for all the above items (both transactions). Had I payed full price, I would have spent $159.61. That's a savings of over 78%!!! It is well worth my time to stack coupons/sales ladies!! :) An hour and half of planning/shopping saved me $125 ...that averages a pretty good per-hour pay! :) I know none of these are typical "black Friday" items you'd buy, but they were good deals, and I'm too practical. :) Anyhow, several of these will go in stockings at christmas time. So, I can technically say I did some christmas shopping today. Don't you wish you were my family member? :) Forget the I-phones...at my house, you get toiletries! ha!

Conversations with my 4-year-old

2010-11-24T18:10:00.002-05:00

my 4 year old boy: "Mom, know how many kids me and my wife will have when we get married?"

me: "How many?"

boy: "Eighteen."

me: "Well, how are you gonna get that many kids? Where will they come from?"

boy: "God..mom, He can do anything."

me: "Well, why didn't He give me eighteen kids?"

boy: "Because your house is too small, mom. "

(me: smiles all day long!)

Sometimes I get tired...

2010-11-23T16:52:00.004-05:00

"Those [moms] who wait for the Lord will gain new strength, they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary." Isaiah 40:31

Happy Thanksgiving Week

2010-11-22T20:04:00.007-05:00

"It being the indispensable duty of all Nations, not only to offer up their supplications to ALMIGHTY GOD, the giver of all good, for his gracious assistance in time of distress, but also in a solemn and public manner to give him praise for his goodness in general, and especially for the great and signal interpositions of his providence in their behalf: Therefore the United States in congress assembled...

...Do hereby recommend to the inhabitants of these States in general, to observe, and request the several States to interpose their authority in appointing and commanding the observation of THURSDAY the twenty-eight day of NOVEMBER next, as a day of solemn THANKSGIVING to GOD for all his mercies:...

...and they do further recommend to all ranks, to testify their gratitude to GOD for his goodness, by a cheerful obedience of his laws, and by promoting, each in his station, and by his influence, the practice of true and undefiled religion, which is the great foundation of public prosperity and national happiness. ..."

(excerpts from The Declaration of Celebrating Thanksgiving, By the United States Congress, 1782)

One Thousand Gifts (145+)....

2010-11-18T19:41:00.002-05:00

145. friends who understand....and love you anyhow

146. comfy blankets to snuggle up on the couch with

147. cheesy Christmas movies, just b/c they make you feel good

148. hope

149. warm baths

150. good books

151. the library

152. the Starbucks peppermint mocha hubby brought home to me today

153. big, strong arms to hold me

154. the ability to feel "mushy" after 16 years together

155. hot tea and good conversation

156. just knowing we're not alone in this race of life, having friends to encourage us along the way to "keep pressing on"

157. my two nephews, who gave their lives to the Lord last night

158. christmas music

159. getting to know family members again

160. gluten free chocolate chip cookies

161. a day of refreshing

162. a fabulous date night with the man who melts my heart and always makes me laugh

163. children to cuddle with

164. homemade popcorn

165. TWO cars that work

Praise, not Perfection (Anne Voskamp)

2010-11-18T17:13:00.003-05:00

Once again, Anne's blog post melts my heart and makes me glad that she is REAL and authentic, because I can relate, as many of us can....(full post here)

She says:
"...I remember what the Farmer said when I first met him and asked why he was so quiet and he quoted Proverbs, that in many words are many sins, and I have spoken too much of late, said too many things, and I question them, wonder, and why not joy instead of a thorn, wallflower instead of brimstone, and I think about this: the making of an ambition of quietness and the way of grace…

I lay on our bed and I liquid murmur that I am not smart enough for any of this, that I fail miserably and everyday and I’m getting so much wrong, and how do you really invest just one life and what about the laundry? And the Farmer he draws me onto his chest and he strokes back my hair, wraps one strand around a finger… and he is quiet. Because sometimes it’s only silence that simply waits that can hear God.

The man is a farmer. He feels wind and he knows rain. He breathes prayers. He pulls me close.

It’s after a long quiet that he whispers it into my caverns,

“Remember? He asks for Praise not Perfection… Grace not Grindstone…”

With a smile and a kiss, that bulk on my shoulders slips, ice to vapor, and I sink into the mattress and sleep comes, tattered relief."

A Thousand Gifts (131...)

2010-11-17T14:25:00.003-05:00

131. grace, grace, God's grace

132. fleece pajama bottoms..I could live in them!

133. forgiveness

134. conviction of sin..that way I don't stay stuck

135. help with the household chores..I don't have to do it all alone

136. quesadillas and smoothies

137. flavored coffee creamer

138. a great visit with a dear old friend yesterday

139. backrubs

140. cuddle time with Myra in bed last night..so thankful she opens her heart to me

141. chilliness outside, warmth inside

142. date night with Shane tonight

143. the ability to read...and good books

144. God's word that brings comfort

Grace, Grace, God's Grace...

2010-11-17T09:49:00.002-05:00

"If God's supernatural, undeserved, sovereign grace is to flow through you, you must be willing to maintain a right relationship with God by confessing your sins the moment you become aware of them, and as you do, accepting God's free grace... the power to acknowledge that He has forgiven them. Christian groups have done a reasonably good job of imparting the need to spend time alone daily, usually in the morning, with God. Some call it a "quiet time". (Those are the folks without small children). Some call it "time in the Word". That's a misnomer, unless all you do is study. Some call it their "devotional time". It is a vital part of maintaining your relationship with God, and if you don't do it, you're missing one of the great opportunities to introduce enough discipline in your life to free God to work.

But remember, your time with God in the morning is not your meeting with God for the day. It is the beginning of an all day relationship. So often, we pray, ask God for grace, ask forgiveness of sins, make our needs known, and press on into the cruel world that awaits us, with a "So long, God, that was neat, see you again tomorrow" mentality. Your "quiet time" (or whatever you call it) is simply God calling the meeting to order. The meeting never ends. And while it is vital to begin the day with God and realize that "His compassions fail not, they are new every morning," it is just as vital to realize that as you venture out into the world, you will sin countless times against a holy God, either by commission or omission, and the very moment you do, your fellowship is bruised. Don't wait for the next day's meeting to be called to order. Stop whatever you are doing, and ask God to forgive you. No one need know but you. In fact, no one should know but you. But the secret to power in the Christian life is the constant renewal of grace that comes when you confess your sins, and a God who is faithful and just to forgive those sins cleanses you of all unrighteousness. However, when we sin, and it is a whole day until we meet with God again, we tend to ignore it or enjoy it until the moment of reckoning comes. If we're really enjoying it, we may just happen to skip our time alone with God for a day or so until we're ready to confess.

That is quenching the grace of God. God has arranged free, unmerited cleansing for us at a moment's notice, and we deliberately choose to postpone appropriating that grace, either by specific choice or by willful apostasy. In either case, God is offended and we lose power. Begin practicing the process of immediate confession. If you offend someone, stop what you're doing and deal with it. If you offend God, stop what you're doing and deal with it. Grace greater than all your sin is yours for the taking; but unless you receive it, it's all for naught." (R. Kelfer)

Press on

2010-11-17T07:49:00.003-05:00

"They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb..and they loved not their lives even unto death." (Revelation 12:11)

"...The greatest things are always hedged about by the hardest things, and we, too, shall find mountains and forests and chariots of iron. Hardship is the price of coronation. Triumphal arches are not woven out of rose blossoms and silken cords, but of hard blows and bloody scars. The very hardships that you are enduring in your life today are given you by the Master for the explicit purpose of enabling you to win your crown."

"It matters not how the battle goes,

The day how long;

Faint not! Fight on!

Tomorrow comes the song."

(both excerpts from Streams in the Desert, Cowman)

Grocery List

2010-11-16T20:24:00.003-05:00

Earlier today,my "grocery list" on the whiteboard on my refrigerator said:

1. Black tea

...Later tonight I noticed someone had added:

2. junk food

3. waffles

4. nothing healthy

ha! My poor, deprived children! :)

Ick..Ugly Mama

2010-11-16T19:59:00.007-05:00

I was an ugly mama this afternoon/early evening. Yep. Ugly. As in, not attractive emotionally. I don't know what really happened. I had a great day. Got to see my dear friend and her kids today. Nothing was wrong. Then...3 o'clock hit and I was done for. I felt like I'd been hit by a truck, felt all the life and energy had been drained from me, and yet there were these three little ones...needing me, asking of me. Didn't they know I had nothing left? Didn't they know I was about to blow? Didn't they know I needed a break?

Right about that time, Mr. husband called me and reminded me he would be gone tonight to a church meeting, and oh yeah..could I cut his hair before he left? What? Didn't he know I was empty? Didn't he know I was stuck in a moment of self? Didn't he realize the world was revolving around me at that very moment? I don't think he did, but I have a feeling my FATHER did. And, as I seethed in selfishness and sin and fatigue, the world seemed to crash in around me. I cried, I pouted, I might have even stomped my feet in a tantrum. (MIGHT have)

The children went for quiet reading time, I finally opened my Bible. ahh. Could that be it? Was I not walking in the spirit because I had not taken time to fill my empty cup yet? ahh. Breathe. Pray. Repent. Lord, fill me. I am empty.

Well, the night got better and worse and then better again. Hubby came home, said he'd stopped to get me flowers but they were all wilted. Sigh. He thought of me, even in my ugliness. He rubbed my shoulders. Sigh. He loves me in spite of me. (makes me cry even now) He never asked me to cut his hair. I didn't offer...still stuck in selfishness. He didn't hold it over me. He loves me unconditionally. Humility.

I finished dinner, got grumpy at child at dinner. Sulked up to my room. Tried to read. Spirit wouldn't let me. Repented again to my FATHER. Grace washed over me. I then was able to extend grace to same child. She cried, we held each other. Our hearts opened up to one another. Ugliness gone. (for today) Hubby left for church. Haircut tomorrow. :)

Menu Plan for Nov. 15-21, 2010

2010-11-13T15:44:00.002-05:00

Well, here's my menu plan for this next week. I like to make my menu plan out a week ahead, so I don't have any last minute planning to do. I find that, otherwise, I'm too tired in the afternoon and it takes twice as much work to figure out what to make. Anyhow, here's my plan for this week-I noticed that some days the kids' snacks are heavy on the carbs, so I will probably switch those up some. I also have lots of cereal and snack foods stocked up from sales, so I'm trying to use some of that up this week. I'm still doing good keeping my grocery budget down. Trying not to spend alot this week, but use up what I have on hand mostly.

(B-breakfast, L-lunch, D-dinner, am-am snack, pm-afternoon snack, N-night snack)

Monday:

B-cereal

am: pears

L-leftovers

pm: crackers and peanut butter

D-Salmon cakes, rice, veggies

n: granola bars (have a few boxes left from (2) B1G1 free coupons)

Tuesday:

B-homemade muesli or oatmeal

am: apples

L-leftover soup, grilled cheese or grilled pb&j, cottage cheese

pm: crunch n much

D-Tuna Fettucine, broccoli

n: crackers and pb or cheese

Wednesday:

B-cereal

am: carrots

L-mac and cheese for kids (Owen's had Annie's organic on sale for .49/box..I bought ten!), leftovers

pm:yogurt

D-Pork burgers, cole slaw

n-homemade soft pretzels

Thursday:

B-oatmeal

am:apples

L-quesadillas on rice tortillas, smoothies

pm:granola bars

D-Turkey (on sale this week for .69/lb at Owen's-this will feed our fam. several meals), mashes sweet potatoes, veggie

n-leftover soft pretzels

Friday:

B-mexican egg scramble, sausage (from local farm)

am:muffins

L-turkey cobb salad with cranberries

pm:pirate booty

D-butternut squash soup, salad

n:granola bars

Saturday:

B-gluten free pumpkin pancakes w/homemade syrup (made with sucanat, not hfcs)

am:?

L-gluten free spaghetti with sauce, organic ravioli (sale item)

pm:muffins

D-turkey hash, veggies

n:homemade popcorn

Sunday:

B-yogurt, fruit

L-turkey sandwiches, fruit and veggies, cottage cheese

D-snacks, homemade popcorn (Sundays we don't eat dinner, we just eat leftovers and snacks)

Daily Pledge

2010-11-13T08:39:00.004-05:00

**(By Russell Kelfer, taken from Choosing Gratitude, Nancy Leigh De Moss)

"Having been born into the kingdom of God, I do hereby acknowledge that God's purchase of my life included all the rights and control of that life for all eternity.

I do further acknowledge that He has not guaranteed me to be free from pain or to have success or prosperity. He has not guaranteed me perfect health. He has not guaranteed me perfect parents. He has not guaranteed me perfect children. He has not guaranteed me the absence of pressures, trials, misunderstandings, or persecution.

What He has promised me is eternal life. What He has promised me is love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, meekness, and self-control. He has given me all of Himself in exchange for the rights to my life.

Therefore I acknowledge this day the relinquishment of all my rights and expectations, and humbly ask Him by His grace to replace these with a grateful spirit, for whatever in His wisdom He deems to allow for my life."

Signed, Kari

(Russell Kelfer, A Grateful Spirit: part 2)

A Common, Unpoetic Life

2010-11-12T08:13:00.003-05:00

"The colored sunsets and starry heavens, the beautiful mountains and the shining seas, the fragrant woods and painted flowers, are not half so beautiful as a soul that is serving Jesus out of love, in the wear and tear of commoon, unpoetic life." -Faher

A Thousand Gifts (121+)....

2010-11-11T14:05:00.003-05:00

121. thankful today that the flu does NOT last forever-God's grace for sure!

122. a sweet little 4 year old boy who took care of the rest of us yesterday when we had the worst part of the flu (he was the only one who did not)

123. my daughter...she is away from us this week, and I realize how much I miss her when she's gone

124. gf chicken noodle soup..thank you, Sara. It's all I can eat right now.

125. great friends who bring us food when we're sick...I love being a part of the body of Christ

126. a sweet time of communion with my Lord this morning...revealing to me His grace and mercy

127. a God who provides all our needs

128. my lovely new "K" mug that my dear friend, Jama, brought me..along with a yummy candle and some chocolates. More than that, I'm thankful for my time with Jama. Thank you for giving me a day, which I know is precious, when there is always so much to do. I love you.

129. free butter and organic tea and a kombucha scoby and live kefir grains from my sweet friend, Beth (if I get shunned by everyone else, at least I will have you!) :) ha!

130. sunny days in the middle of November

Prayer for Heart of Hospitality

2010-11-11T12:58:00.002-05:00

(from Karen Burton Mains, "Open Heart, Open Home")

LORD,

Thank you for having given your self in intimate,

inexplicable hospitality.

You have been the Host to all creation.

Without a dwelling, You have contained the

whole word and habited Yourself in the winds,

the corners, and the depths, inviting us to be

at home with You. Beneath the shadow of Your

wing You bid us hide, and in the depths of Your

Being You shelter and refuge us.

Without meat You have nourished us.

Without beverage You have refreshed us.

By Your very Word came sustenance.

On bread and water without price have we been fed.

You have been manna in the wilderness of our lives.

Without a table You have banqueted us, inviting us, yea, to be married unto you.

Over our heads flies the banner of Your love.

We are entertained with the mysteries of faith,

the songs of the Spirit, holy laughter.

You have garmented us in festal righteousness.

As we wandered in wastelands,

You sought us before we called.

You extended eager welcome

though we had scarcely knocked.

You embraced us when we were filthy

and oppressed and undeserving.

You are the Samaritan who passes not by,

Who finds lodging for us in the warm inns by the way.

You bake fish over coals, waiting for us,

though we have forgotten to wait for You.

With broken hands You break the loaf of blessing.

Those same wounds caress our leprous spirits.

You do not fear to openly accept the intimate worship

of our harlot hearts.

You are the Host of all mankind.

Lifted up, suffering, without breath, You yet

extend greeting to all the masses,

'Come unto me....

Come...

Come....'

You give us the mystery of Your presence

in this supper of the ages, this remembrance of

Your ultimate hospitality

O Lord,

Make my hospitality as unto Yours,

Be forever my archetype of endeavor,

My firstfruit of harvested goodness;

Love for the battered, misused child,

Grace to bind running ulcers of flesh and soul,

Eagerness for the wealthy without servility,

And for the poor without superiority.

Through eternity You have been and will be

utterly hospitable.

Help me,

poor, faltering, unfeeling me,

to be like you,

with breath-beat and soul-heart

poured out

emptied

opened.

Help me,

to be given to hospitality."

More on Hospitality...

2010-11-09T18:32:00.003-05:00

"...The temptation...is to do more than is required. It is easy to spend days in elaborate preparations which have nothing to do with ministry, but a great deal to do with demonstrating one's own abilities. One must look carefully at those hidden motives and ask, 'Am I really seeking to serve, or am I trying to impress?'

A good thermometer as to whether pride was rising in me was to ask two good questions: Am I nervous? Am I fussing? These were pretty good indicators of the true nature of my intentions. If I was nervous, getting jumpy before that sit-down dinner for eight, I could assume something had gone awry within. Was I afraid the new recipe would flop, or that someone might wander into an unclean room-and people would think less of me? For me, nervousness stemmed from nothing more than pride.

What did it matter if the centerpiece was less than spectacular, if the rolls were slightly more brown on the bottom, if the door to the little boys' room was closed because to enter was to take one's life in one's hands?

If I found myself fussing too much about spots on the glasses, getting upset because I had to clean the bathroom sink again, going wild because someone had walked on the freshly vacuumed shag-what did it mean? Who was coming that I was trying to impress with all these efforts? Didn't my over-concern indicate that I was depending on my human efforts to make the evening a success? Hadn't I forgotten that undefinable spiritual quality which found its source in the Holy Spirit? Again the answer was pride, pride rearing it's subtle and manipulative head, forcing me to think self..." (Karen Burton Mains, "Open Heart, Open Home:How to find joy through sharing your home with others")

True Hospitality

2010-11-09T17:57:00.004-05:00

A couple months ago, not long after we'd moved back to Indiana, I met one of our pastor's wives one day at the park nearby. Afterwards, she asked if she could walk back with us, because she wanted to get the exercise. I was glad for the company...until we neared my home! See, that morning, we had finished school when my friend dropped off her child so she could go to the doctor's office. We left the school stuff on the table, the blankets unfolded on the couch and the sink full of the days' (and possibly the night before's?) dishes. "I'll get it it later, I thought. It's too beautiful to be inside. We're going to the park!" You must understand that those thoughts are not often in my head. Too often I am weighed down with all that needs to be done and feels left undone. I'm always one step behind in my own head.

When I arrived at the house with this dear lady and her grandbaby, I realized it was only nice to ask her in, but found myself inevitably saying "oh, sorry for the dishes. Sorry for the school mess...(all while I'm folding the blankets on the couch quickly!). " I was very uncomfortable, because here's how I'd rather it have gone...I'd rather have had the house all together, clean and dust free, smelling like cinnamon (my comfort smell), cookies freshly baked on the table....yes, that's how I'd rather have had it. That way she could see the "real" me, right? That's what my pride likes to tell me. Rather, she DID see the real me. And, she saw my struggle with my pride that day. In her graciousness, she asked if I'd ever read, "Open Heart, Open Home." I suppose she wasn't surprised when I said I hadn't. :) She said her favorite line from that book was something along the line of "Always keep your home open to others, even if you have to write 'welcome' in the dust." We had a good laugh, and I had a decent dose of conviction that she was not offended by real life.

Well, seems the Lord wanted me to really see what was going on in my heart, because she "just happened" to find the book the next day at a garage sale. I have been reading this book, and have been convicted, challenged, and encouraged. Mostly convicted, though. I have always opened my home to others, always felt 'hospitable.' God is showing me, though, that I have always had more of a heart for entertaining...focusing on things and my own abilities to impress than a true heart of serving others. Can I be that real with you, my friends? I think God gave me a gift and heart's desire, yes, but I have misunderstood what that really looked like. I do love to serve, but I must look back at all the times my own heart was angry that a child just left toys where I'd just cleaned up...didn't they know people were coming to my home and would judge me for those toys on the ground? I mean, what kind of a mother would I be? Pride. Fear of man. Ugly. Ugh!

So much of this book has stuck out to me. So much the Lord has opened my eyes to. So much He is changing. So much more He needs to change. I'll be sharing more in the days to come...but one 'funny' story of how God allowed me not only to read and nod my head, but practice what I am learning....

Shane called a few weeks ago, about 15 minutes til 12 noon. He asked if he could bring Mark, our new youth director, home for lunch. Now, I had showered, but put clean jammies back on, since I'd just "be home alone" that day. I had school stuff on the table (again, yes!), sink full of dishes (again, yes!...I'm seeing a theme here of who I REALLY am, not who I want others to think I am...), and then there's the issue of what I'd planned for lunch...

It had been one of those days, towards the end of a paycheck, when I delve into the cabinet to see what we have. Well, we had hot dogs, but no buns, and we had baked beans. So...beanie weenies! Yes, I had homemade beanie weenies on the stove, pjs on, and a messy house and company was coming. My prayers for an angel of God to come clean my house were not answered in those fifteen short minutes...actually, I barely got my clothes on before they walked in the door. I pushed down my pride (which was huge!), opened the door, and said "come on in for some beanie weenies!" And, guess what Mark said? He said, "Awesome! I love beanie weenies!", with a big smile on his face. We ate our "main course", had cut up veggies and cheese on the side, and enjoyed getting to know this man God had brought into ministry with us. There was never a complaint, never a slight look out of the side of his eye to my "mess." There was only greatfulness from his heart. And, though this story makes me laugh, it also brings tears to my eyes. Because God is faithful and kind. He's faithful to point out my flaws and to test me, but not so that he can overwhelm me or throw me down to be laughed at, but to grow me. I grew that day.

I don't have it all together. My dishes are not always (rarely ever) all done. My laundry is NEVER done. You WILL find dust on my furniture. But, you are always welcome in my home, for it is the Lord's home, and my desire is to glorify him by loving and serving you.